The theory of Acceptance

I DON'T PROFESS TO BE AN EXPERT BUT I DO KNOW FROM BEING A DR PHIL FOR SO LONG AND FROM EXPERIENCING A BIT OF IT MYSELF THAT RELATIONSHIPS ARE COMPLICATED AFFAIRS ...

AND TOO OFTEN WE MISJUDGE WHERE AND HOW OUR IDEAL PARTNER NEEDS TO SLOT IN
OK SO I'M GOING TO TRY SAYING THIS WITHOUT USING ECONOMIC OR INFORMATION SYSTEM ANALOGIES TRY TO 'UN-NERDIFY' THE WAY MY BRAIN VIEWS IT...SO THAT U DEAR READER HAS SOME BASIC IDEA
THE PROBLEM STARTS AT THE DREAM GUY DREAM GIRL IMAGE WE ALL BUILD .. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT - SOMEONE WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR DOWN TO EARTH, THE PERFECT NOSE ,A FERRARI , LOOKS GOOD IN A PAIR OF SHORTS - AND WE SPEND OUR ENTIRE YOUTH LOOKING FOR THE PERSON THAT MEETS OUR SPECIFICATIONS
OFTEN DISAPPOINTING OUR SELVES COZ AS GREAT AS HE MIGHT LOOK IN A PAIR OF SHORTS HE HAS A BRAIN OF A CHIMP AND THE MATURITY OF A SIX YEAR OLD SO WHAT DO WE DO ??? - AND YES I WILL SAY WE COZ FEMALES TEND TO DO THIS ALOT ... AFTER REALISING THAT 'ADONIS' IS NOT WHO WE WANT HIM TO BE WE TRY CHANGING HIM GET HIM TO READ AND ACTUALLY WATCH THE NEWS INSTEAD OF THE RERUNS OF JACKASS THAT HE LOVES SO MUCH ... AND WHAT HAPPENS YOU TAKE A CHIMP OUT OF HIS HABITAT AND HE SUFFERS UNABLE TO COPE UP HE STARTS REGRETTING EVER ASKING YOU OUT AND HE ENDS UP HURTING AND SO DO U COZ U REALISE YOU DNT LOVE HIM AND NEVER WILL AND SO THE VICIOUS CYCLE GOES ON AND ON ... SO HERE'S HOW I SEE THEORY NUMBER ONE : IF YOU START OUT A RELATIONSHIP WITH A SET IDEA OF WHAT AN IDEAL PARTNER SHOULD BE YOU BUILD UP EXPECTATIONS NOT KEEPING AN OPEN MIND AND DOING THE OTHER PERSON A DISSERVICE AS THEY ARE UNAWARE THAT IN YOUR MIND YOU ARE TICKING OF A SCORE CARD OF CRITERIA ... BUT WE ARE HUMAN AND WE ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE THIS CHECKLIST ... SO HOW DO U DEAL WITH IT ??? WHEN THE PRINCE TURNS INTO A FROG ... DON'T TRY TO CHANGE HIM AS YOU WILL NEVER SUCCEED INSTEAD LEARN TO ACCEPT THE PERSON FOR WHO THEY ARE AND NOT WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO BE !IF AFTER GIVING IT A TRY U REALISE THAT YOU ARE JUST NOT WILLING TO ACCEPT WHO HE IS LEAVE BEFORE YOU CAUSE ANY HEARTACHE AND EMOTIONAL DAMAGE
BUT BOYS AND GIRLS THIS WORKS BOTH WAYS DNT TRY TO SCORE POINTS BY BEING THE IDEAL PARTNER AND MEETING THEIR REQUIREMENTS BECOZ THAT IS EVEN MORE RIDICULOUS THEN YOU CHANGING THEM. CHANGING YOUR SELF AND WHO YOU ARE MEANS SUCUMMING TO PERSONAL SACRIFICE IN THE NAME OF LOVE YOU THEN NEED TO QUESTION WHETHER ANY LOVE IS WORTH IT AND IF YOU ANSWERED YES THEN YOU PROBABLY ARE VERY IN-LOVE OR BLINDED BY INFATUATION.
OFF COURSE ONCE IN A WHILE EVERY THEORY HAS A CURVE BALL AND THAT WOULD BE FINDING SOMEONE THAT YOU HAVE NO INTENTION OF CHANGING FROM THE OUTSET YOU ARE WILLING TO ACCEPT EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS PERSON -- WHO THEY ARE WHO THEY WANT TO BE WHAT THEY STAND FOR-- THOSE THINGS THAT YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE ABOUT THIS PERSON YOU ARE WILLING TO LEARN TO ACCEPT AND EVENTUALLY LOVE. ONCE YOU'VE FOUND THAT THEN YOU HAVE FOUND "THE ONE" AND THAT MY DEAR FRIENDS IS A RARE AND PRECIOUS OCCURRENCE THAT DOSENT ONLY HAPPEN TO THE PEOPLE OF ZION IN THE MATRIX . "THE ONE" IS THE PERSON YOU WILL STAY WITH AND THE PERSON YOU ARE ORDAINED TO BE HAPPY WITH .... SO LEMME ASK YOU THE GOLDEN QUESTION HAVE YOU FOUND YOUR CURVE BALL ????
NOW JUST BECOZ I CNT RESIST LET ME SAY THIS IN I.T. TERMS TRY TO KEEP UP ...
WE SOFTWARE CONSULTANTS ARE OFTEN ASKED TO MAP A SYSTEMS CAPABILITIES TO A CUSTOMERS REQUIREMENTS
WHEN WE CAN DO THIS WE REFER TO THE IMPLEMENTATION AS A "VANILLA" SYSTEM MEANING WE HAVE NOT MADE ANY CHANGES TO MEET THE REQUIREMENTS AND THE CUSTOMER WILL USE THE SYSTEM AS IS . BUT BECAUSE THIS IS THE REAL WORLD AND MANY CUSTOMERS THINK THEY SHOULD HAVE A SYSTEM THAT WAS MADE TO MATCH THEY REQUIRE CHANGES TO FIT THEIR NEEDS WE CALL THESE "CUSTOMISATIONS" THE PROBLEM WITH CUSTOMISATIONS IS THEY COST ALOT AND MANY YEARS DOWN THE LINE WHEN THE SYSTEM GETS OLD THESE CUSTOMISATIONS END UP CAUSING PROBLEMS ELSEWHERE .... HERE'S MY POINT DON'T TRY TO CUSTOMIZE ANOTHER HUMAN BEING IT'S CRUEL AND EXPENSIVE IF IT CAUSES SO MUCH CRAP FOR A PIECE OF SOFTWARE IMAGINE HOW IT CAN MESS UP A PERSONS MIND AND PERSONA. WHEN CHOOSING A LIFE PARTNER STICK TO VANILLA INSTALLATIONS ONLY ;-)
I'D LIKE TO DEDICATE THIS BLOG TO MY VERY SPECIAL GAL WHOSE STORY INSPIRED MY TAUGHT PROCESS TODAY...
I'D ALSO LIKE TO DEDICATE THIS TO MY CURVE BALL WHO FULL FILLS THIS THEORY IN EVERY WAY I HOPE YOU TAKE OUT THE GREEN STAMP FOR THIS ONE (MWAH) ;-)
PLEASE NOTE THAT NO CHIMPS OR FROGS WERE HARMED IN THE PUBLICATION OF THIS BLOG !!!


one of the most profound poems of love you will ever read ....i pray and hope we all find this ....
Sonnet 116: "Let me not to the marriage of true minds..."
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.