How many times have you heard people say with a startled look ‘this year has just flown by’ it’s comical how shocked they are as if time has mysteriously robbed them of their year.
I have started thinking about the reasons behind this, and can’t help but wonder if it’s not somehow influenced by this world we now find ourselves inhabiting.
Why does life flash by at such a ridiculous rate that 24 hours just seems to go by so fast that before you know it you are RSVP’ing to year end functions ….
In this modern age ‘instant’ seems to be the way we live our lives .
Everything happens a hundred times faster than it did ten years ago
Instant cappuccino (which FYI tastes like puke ), Instant customer service, Instant banking notifications , Instant messaging, Instant data transfer , Instant connectivity to the entire world and most wonderfully Instant access to information . All these modern day instants that make our world incredibly efficient and easier.
We live in an age where immediate reaction is expected and most of the time demanded .Is that not why we demand lightening fast customer service from those that market quick reaction best ( the modern day service providers) … Try phoning one of them and see how annoyed you get when you wait more than a minute to speak to a service consultant and then notice how your inner demon manifests when they tell you it’s going to take 2 to 5 working days for your request to be processed …
While the world moves forward in this constant buss of everything instant , I beg the question...
Is time moving a hundred times faster due to this modern age, where everything operating in our world has now defied the laws of hours and seconds . And this tempts me to ask an even deeper question… how has this changed us? Are we mentally the same humans with the same emotions that we were a couple of generations ago?
Somehow I doubt that... I’m a strong believer in pre natal influences (IE: listen to Mozart and your baby would understand music) have a serious look at children born in this decade... They are fascinatingly advanced, able to handle and operate modern technology when they toddlers. It might have to do with the fact that their mothers handle so much technology during their pregnancy that when the kids are born they instinctively harness an ability…that’s the only way I can justify a 4 year olds ability to operate a complex Windows OS smart phone with more ease then my 59 year old father.
Has decision making, human reactions and emotions taken a fast forward ticket too ?
Do we decide on issues much faster because of this culture of instant … I have friends that have decided to marry someone within a year of meeting them and have ended a relationship in an hour , How about insurance sales man..Who can now get you cover in 5 minutes (over the telephone!!!!) an important life decision that takes only a few minutes …
Instant is a culture that has already showed its nasty side … just ask the millions of Americans that found themselves knee high in debt due to impossible credit card bills and mortgages … yet another form of modern day instant that has made accessing money you don’t have a 2 minute wireless transaction.
Are we more likely to act on impulse now then we were a few decades ago?
We all know that a few decades ago they took their time to do everything
They lived on the basic principle of patience and it definitely benefited them look at what long lives some of them lived … they never rushed their lives and that’s why “lay byes” were so popular because they could wait 4 months for a pair of shoes (scary I know) there’s absolutely no way I could live like that thank god for credit cards right ;-)
It would be interesting to measure just how much we have changed and if this age of modern development has changed our behavior so drastically that if our past generations had to look at us now they’d wonder in amazement about how we all seem to be living in fast forward
The imagery I’m getting here is that the way my Grandma spent her day 50 years ago to the way I spend my day now...if we had to video it she’d be in slow and I’d be in fast forward
It would take her 3 weeks to get several individual letters to her girlfriends and takes me a few seconds to email them all at once … really interesting when you think of it … but it makes me consider another element to all of this. Perhaps she had time to carefully consider what she was writing to them and me? well I don’t have time to ponder too much over it I just type and hit send …because that’s what the world of instant now offers us
Don’t get me wrong I am one of those instant people that can’t imagine surviving 50 years ago … it’s just my personality. The world of instant has made it even easier for me to be a much more impatient then I would have been if I lived back then.
Maybe it’s not about the times in which we live.. but about where we live
There are definitely places in this world where time has stood still. Where wireless information highways and the electronic age ceases to exist , where your Blackberry would be just an object and not something that is taken everywhere you go because you “ feel lost without it “ . The difference is that in those remote places everything happens in a schedule that nature determines. Maybe its places like this that we have to find ourselves going to now and again just to remind us that life in general does not have to be instant , so that we remember to enjoy life’s simple technology . The kind we often miss in this world of deadlines, traffic , month ends , crazy consumerism and instant gratification …
Maybe I’m just craving a long holiday and my motivation for this piece goes deeper. However I know that I’m going to stick to my “spring resolution” and enjoy every second of this new season or at least try to take notice of and appreciate the first blossoms and savor the first apricots and mangoes … you know what I’m talking about …those simple things that aren’t running on windows minutes coz god forbid we one day have all the networks in the world go down and we find ourselves shocked by an existence we forgot
Tashiani (Spring Chika) Padiachy
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
The Diva Guide to Knowing Good Confectionary : Men defined in Terms of Cake !
I have a highly educated sweet tooth
Fortunately I can back it up as I consider myself to be a expert baker and a self proclaimed lamington queen
But as with most good things in life , cake comes with the trappings of hidden calories so when choosing your slice of cake you need to always be carefull and go for the kind that's worth the trouble ...
After intense taught I've realized that some cakes can be metaphorically defined and likened to most men out there
So here it is ladies MEN DEFINED IN TERMS OF CAKE .... Here's hoping this helps you recognize quality confectionary from mass produced processed garbage
TRIPE LAYER CHOCOLATE GANACHE (Calorie Rating 10/10 Quality Rating 6/10 )
Highly sought after , smooth ,indulgent , multi faceted , mood enhancing .... Iced with dangerous sweetness and charm .... This cake occupies center stage in the cake fridge ... its impressive and really good looking so delicious and has a really tempting shape and form ( in male terms that would mean the body of a greek god and the face of an Indian movie star ). But be careful !!! this cake exudes confidence and he knows his at the top of the dessert hierarchy ... It will always be impossible to fully trust Ganache , after all which woman wouldn't want all that chocolate ??? This makes your slice of triple layer chocolate Ganache a hot target and always in vogue .... The major issues here is that EVERYONE WANTS A BITE OF YOUR SLICE! And given that this one aims to please you'll never know just how many are obliged
PECAN PIE (Calorie Rating 8/10 Quality Rating 6/10 )
Ridiculously Decedent but often pretentious
Obnoxiously Rich – and oozing with tons of empty calories (AKA Issues)
This one might look tempting at first and those initial bites would satisfy your every need, however pretty soon you'll be regretting taking such a large slice
Pecan Pie is legendary but it's constantly in need of a condiment ... a bit of whipped cream to enhance it and bring balance. the condiment is always something less exciting and bland .... Warning DON'T BECOME THE WHIPPED CREAM . Remember its always going to be ONLY ABOUT THE PIE!
This is considered to be the Narcissist of all the options in the cake fridge. Pecan pie does not require the whipped cream for any other reason but to enhance his appeal and make him more Palatable
As good as he sounds at first be prepared to take a back seat and be just there as the side order
MADEIRA SPONGE ... (Calorie rating 5/10 --- Quality rating 5/10 )
Highly processed ... best when fresh
This is always a safe bet
Not too interesting yet still has some substance
Not too indulgent and lacks spark and Flair
Lacks excitement but passes for palatable
This kind of cake goes down well at Sunday tea but is most likely to not be a show stopper at many other events
Vanilla flavored making him easy to digest, consistent, reliable and suitable for most tastes
Not easily recognizable as it can be iced with the most appealing of decoration
The danger is once you've bitten past the icing be prepared for monotonous undertones and sheer boredom !
Your interest will definitely fade and this cake could easily end up unused and stale
That's when you might need to let it become part of a trifle or set it free so he can find a tipsy tart instead
Settling for Madeira Sponge could lead to gastronomical anti-climax , so recognize the signs early or you might have to stock up on loads of Ice cream and custard to keep it tolerate it
Brandy Fruit Cake (Calorie Rating 6/10 – Quality Rating 2/10)
A cheap thrill and highly seasonal!
Can only be enjoyed once or twice a year
Not to be taken too seriously as it has so man y loose calories and issues
There purely as entertainment and a to create a seasonal flavor , nutty and fruity but downright crazy
Most likely to excite and delight enjoy in moderation and never keep till after the new year as it is most likely to mould and rot and will serve no real purpose past its sell by date
Easily recognizable because its constantly contains large amounts of alcohol and festive cheer .
RED VELVET WITH CREAM CHEESE FROSTING ( Calorie Rating 4/10 – Quality Rating 9/10)
Not quite chocolate, But not Quite Vanilla Either
This cake will always remain a mystery and that's what will make him constantly alluring
One of those cakes with layers of complex flavors that make it really hard to determine what exactly about it satisfies you ...
Light and Fluffy yet rich and full of depth
Balanced and decadent containing the perfect amount of excitement ...
Pleasing to the eye and highly appealing and as the name suggests velvety smooth but with sincerity and honesty rather than ostentatious flashiness ...
Very much an individual and not easily compared to other cakes . This one is rare and can never be defined by the usual standard as it's always a slice above the rest ... once found should be kept and enjoyed ;-)
All cakes have Calories you just need to be sure to find the right balance between calories and quality
We never get to choose the cake it somehow chooses us ... so once spotted you'll be hooked drawn to it like any sweet tooth is to a slice of heaven . It's always important to look past the icing and have a realistic idea of what you dealing with also remember that some cakes naturally go well with certain tarts so steer clear of those ...
Cake does eventually go stale therefore it's up to you to keep it fresh and exciting however just a tip never go for the cake that's been sent back to the cake fridge ...unless you willing to settle for someone else's Leftovers ....
Tashiani " knows cake " Padiachy
please note that no cakes were abused during the research of this note :-)
Fortunately I can back it up as I consider myself to be a expert baker and a self proclaimed lamington queen
But as with most good things in life , cake comes with the trappings of hidden calories so when choosing your slice of cake you need to always be carefull and go for the kind that's worth the trouble ...
After intense taught I've realized that some cakes can be metaphorically defined and likened to most men out there
So here it is ladies MEN DEFINED IN TERMS OF CAKE .... Here's hoping this helps you recognize quality confectionary from mass produced processed garbage
TRIPE LAYER CHOCOLATE GANACHE (Calorie Rating 10/10 Quality Rating 6/10 )
Highly sought after , smooth ,indulgent , multi faceted , mood enhancing .... Iced with dangerous sweetness and charm .... This cake occupies center stage in the cake fridge ... its impressive and really good looking so delicious and has a really tempting shape and form ( in male terms that would mean the body of a greek god and the face of an Indian movie star ). But be careful !!! this cake exudes confidence and he knows his at the top of the dessert hierarchy ... It will always be impossible to fully trust Ganache , after all which woman wouldn't want all that chocolate ??? This makes your slice of triple layer chocolate Ganache a hot target and always in vogue .... The major issues here is that EVERYONE WANTS A BITE OF YOUR SLICE! And given that this one aims to please you'll never know just how many are obliged
PECAN PIE (Calorie Rating 8/10 Quality Rating 6/10 )
Ridiculously Decedent but often pretentious
Obnoxiously Rich – and oozing with tons of empty calories (AKA Issues)
This one might look tempting at first and those initial bites would satisfy your every need, however pretty soon you'll be regretting taking such a large slice
Pecan Pie is legendary but it's constantly in need of a condiment ... a bit of whipped cream to enhance it and bring balance. the condiment is always something less exciting and bland .... Warning DON'T BECOME THE WHIPPED CREAM . Remember its always going to be ONLY ABOUT THE PIE!
This is considered to be the Narcissist of all the options in the cake fridge. Pecan pie does not require the whipped cream for any other reason but to enhance his appeal and make him more Palatable
As good as he sounds at first be prepared to take a back seat and be just there as the side order
MADEIRA SPONGE ... (Calorie rating 5/10 --- Quality rating 5/10 )
Highly processed ... best when fresh
This is always a safe bet
Not too interesting yet still has some substance
Not too indulgent and lacks spark and Flair
Lacks excitement but passes for palatable
This kind of cake goes down well at Sunday tea but is most likely to not be a show stopper at many other events
Vanilla flavored making him easy to digest, consistent, reliable and suitable for most tastes
Not easily recognizable as it can be iced with the most appealing of decoration
The danger is once you've bitten past the icing be prepared for monotonous undertones and sheer boredom !
Your interest will definitely fade and this cake could easily end up unused and stale
That's when you might need to let it become part of a trifle or set it free so he can find a tipsy tart instead
Settling for Madeira Sponge could lead to gastronomical anti-climax , so recognize the signs early or you might have to stock up on loads of Ice cream and custard to keep it tolerate it
Brandy Fruit Cake (Calorie Rating 6/10 – Quality Rating 2/10)
A cheap thrill and highly seasonal!
Can only be enjoyed once or twice a year
Not to be taken too seriously as it has so man y loose calories and issues
There purely as entertainment and a to create a seasonal flavor , nutty and fruity but downright crazy
Most likely to excite and delight enjoy in moderation and never keep till after the new year as it is most likely to mould and rot and will serve no real purpose past its sell by date
Easily recognizable because its constantly contains large amounts of alcohol and festive cheer .
RED VELVET WITH CREAM CHEESE FROSTING ( Calorie Rating 4/10 – Quality Rating 9/10)
Not quite chocolate, But not Quite Vanilla Either
This cake will always remain a mystery and that's what will make him constantly alluring
One of those cakes with layers of complex flavors that make it really hard to determine what exactly about it satisfies you ...
Light and Fluffy yet rich and full of depth
Balanced and decadent containing the perfect amount of excitement ...
Pleasing to the eye and highly appealing and as the name suggests velvety smooth but with sincerity and honesty rather than ostentatious flashiness ...
Very much an individual and not easily compared to other cakes . This one is rare and can never be defined by the usual standard as it's always a slice above the rest ... once found should be kept and enjoyed ;-)
All cakes have Calories you just need to be sure to find the right balance between calories and quality
We never get to choose the cake it somehow chooses us ... so once spotted you'll be hooked drawn to it like any sweet tooth is to a slice of heaven . It's always important to look past the icing and have a realistic idea of what you dealing with also remember that some cakes naturally go well with certain tarts so steer clear of those ...
Cake does eventually go stale therefore it's up to you to keep it fresh and exciting however just a tip never go for the cake that's been sent back to the cake fridge ...unless you willing to settle for someone else's Leftovers ....
Tashiani " knows cake " Padiachy
please note that no cakes were abused during the research of this note :-)
"DIVA-doms" The Golden Rules to Being Diva (Part1 )
- a Diva trusts her instincts above all else and no matter how hard her decisions are she stands by them
- in the natural order of things Diva always trumps asshole !"
- Divas look foward to the new week and every challenge its gna bring and say thank u lord I still have my thick skin and I'm still tough
- a true Diva Plays this game three steps ahead and fools everyone with her smile"
- a Diva might be changed by what happends to her but she is never reduced by it
- Divas aren't faders they ultimate challengers
- a Diva will never have a battle of wits with you beause it will be wrong to fight someone whose unarmed
- sometimes a Diva is allowed to cry and throw a "little girl" tantrum but the next day she always puts on her survivor lipstick , galdiator heels and fights till theres a solution !!!
- Fact of life : Divas dont get problems they cant handle
- Diva lesson !!! u try ur best u work ur hardest u innovate u think out of the box and you go above and beyond to exceed expectations of those who matter but u always gna get 1 a$$hole that makes u feel like an idiot that's when u say honestly I dnt care what u think I tried my best and I'm still brilliant and my ha...rd work is proof of it . u try walking a day in my stilletoes let's see what u can achieve !!!
- A Diva never allows history to repeat itself
- Divas dnt believe in sick days
- The Force is what gives a Jedi Diva her power. the force is excellence 75 % cocoa
- Divas do things exceptionally or they dont bother doing it at all
- Divas always back the winning stallion coz thats the only kind that can make a Diva heart race
- You can upset a Diva but bear in mind she dosent need a reason she just needs a victim
- I know im pushy i know im insistent but more often then not it pays off we can do this my way or we can fail you choose
- Divas do things exceptionally or they dont bother doing it at all
- Divas always back the winning stallion coz thats the only kind that can make a Diva heart race
Diva Opinion ... The South African Indian Wedding !
I've had nothing to write about for so long .
Maybe because I’ve had very little opinions and views on issues lately
But this morning one of my male colleagues got me thinking about something
His decided that the cost of a function venue is so high that he might as well whisk his fiancé off to Vegas, and both of them can enjoy a luxury get away , and the wedding will still mean something coz the point is they are confirming their love and commitment and that’s all that matters the 20 grand venue doesn’t!
I suppose that’s the one benefit of the western culture they are able do what they want not what their family , extended family , and dead ancestors want...and then I got thinking wow not a bad idea hey and suddenly reality hit me ! Ha-ha like that will ever work with our community !!!!!
Imagine what will happen if u really did that think of the repercussions
I mean it’s just too evil to even consider
Imagine how many people will be disappointed...
First there’s your aunty Saras- the same one who has asked you when the big day is since you turned 21 - she even bought her sari on her last India trip , she’s got it in a pillow case on top of her cupboard and she’s filled it with moth balls .
She’s already bought your water set and she kept old gift paper for when she has to wrap it.
She can’t wait to make her famous jellebi and set your trays and what about her granddaughters who she hopes to flog off at your wedding the One who has to carry tray and the other two that will be doing a dance (Bollywood Style).
What about those relatives that hardly know - the ones with the unmarried son that they tried setting you up with long ago - surely they want to come to look for family girls for him? Little do they know about his escapades with his "best friend” the blonde guy ...?
And then uncle Siva (Saras’s husband)... let’s not forget him... he has to miss the united game just so he can come show off his Benz (the Indian status symbol for - "I’m a Maamu”) someone should tell him that powder blue suit doesn’t really suit him but it’s ok we'll be distracted by his dental bling and gold chains and ray bans he'll look amazing in the pics his probably gna shine more than you :-)
And most importantly your parents ... we don’t realise what they go thru the side remarks they face from society ... how’s your children ...how’s your daughter ... how old is she now ... she never met anyone? Yah but you know these children today ... mustn’t stress tell her to fast for 12 Fridays or maybe do the string prayer. Then in the next breath she goes and spreads rumours about how your parents are suffering with you! and so that’s how it all starts the minute someone starts questioning your mum the pressure kicks in and it filters down to you
Weddings are our societies social entertainment ... more crap goes on at weddings than any other family gathering ... think about it a funeral ( even thou those sometimes have drama too) is generally sad but remains dignified .. a birthday party is usually small and intimate and doesn’thave much drama ... but a wedding ... anywhere where you stuff 1000 relatives (all dressed to the 9’s) into a crowded poorly air-conditioned space and you bound to get issues hey ! You bound to get high levels of noise, lots of heckling, lots of gossip, lots of teen romances and worst of all lots of bloody screaming babies in there taffeta white dresses! And don’t even get me started on the nalagus and hurdees verindhes and bidhaais all of which cost a fortune too and are becoming even more elaborate these days! I mean seriously now people chair covers and overlays and flowers for the mendhi night isn’t that overkill?
So just before wedding season starts here’s my final taught
I'm not trying to thrash the whole wedding idea as much as it has its age old clichés and highly irritating side stories you can’t beat an Indian wedding hey for the sheer colour and joy and the Friday night wedding jol and the music and the laughter and the glamour
It’s still is the nicest event to attend and as guests when a young couple invites us to their wedding we should oblige and respect the ceremony and truly bless them not go there to complain about the food and make a noise and create the drama here’s a few things we can do to make sure we follow some basic wedding etiquette we can follow as gracious guests:
> RSVP FOR GOD SAKE - venues are charging per head these days the couple fork out a fortune on their big day if the invite asks for a RSVP then do the decent thing . Yes we know back in the day the whole street came and the food was enough for everyone but things have changed and your one extra seat makes a huge difference when the couple is working on a budget
> LEAVE THE KIDS AT HOME! If they are too small to know the meaning of “sit down and be quiet" then don’t go and spoil someone else’s sacred day. honestly there’s nothing sweet about mantras been recited while you have brats running up and down the isles ...leave your brats at home with the maid or the in laws
> DON’T COMPLAIN ABOUT THE FOOD ., who gives you the right to judge someone else’s function how dare you do such a nasty thing !how would it feel if someone does that at your function once again you were invited out of love and respect don’t be a hater
> GIVE A USEFUL GIFT or rather don’t give one at all the couple have not invited you for your wedding gift you give that as a token of love don’t recycle the water sets you got from your wedding 30 years ago chances are it’s just gna cause clutter in these peoples new lives
> And on that’s note THE GIFT REGISTRY is there so that a modern bride can make your task of choosing a gift easier! Deal with it if you don’t want to make use of it then don’t but refrain from making it a gossip topic... no she is not been forward by having one !
> DON’T OUTSHINE THE BRIDE! I don’t care how much of a beauty queen you think you are if you going there with the intention of making heads turn and a$$es burn then get a life and enter Miss India SA. This is not the day to be cattish and you poor second cousin is experiencing the biggest day of her life (true story: I have been to a wedding where one of the guests had the same sari as the bride and guess what she stayed for the entire thing and still paraded around (this applies to the guys and there white suit and panama Hats too !
> and lastly LEAVE THE BLOODY VASES ON THE TABLE yes we know you want the flowers for your dining room table but the decor is hired most of the time leave it alone !
To the bridal couple ... it’s your day do it in your way don’t be pressured into making the rest of them happy coz you never going to succeed they always going to judge! Make yourself happy first... Suze Orman is clearly not Indian because anyone who reads her books knows how she feels about wedding debt so if you decide that you need to take that R100 k loan to make your dream day possible then do it but make sure you understand that no matter what your wedding costs no matter what your serviettes and cutlery looks like the most important thing is that when you marry you are doing it for the right reason to the person you truly love and that the focus is going to be the rest of your life the actual marriage not the weeklong event that precedes it ... do what makes you happy ( PS THIS IS ESPECIALLY FOR THE COUSINS I HAVE THAT ARE GETTING MARRIED THIS WEDDING SEASON :-))
After all said and done it’s about 2 people who love each other and we should feel honoured that they want you to be a part of that And to those aunties that keep harassing the rest of us about our big day I say we will always love you but please stop nagging coz you killing the whole idea for us
We honestly sick and tired of having to smile and answer the same question every time u see us ... :p
SO just before wedding season starts and my mum’s coffee table gets bombarded with silk and organza cards (all the way from India) I say let’s not lose the plot ... enjoy all the weddings and remember the real reason for all the thamasha !
Regards
Tashi " say it like it is" Padiachy
(Chief officer of the 2010 wedding police )
Maybe because I’ve had very little opinions and views on issues lately
But this morning one of my male colleagues got me thinking about something
His decided that the cost of a function venue is so high that he might as well whisk his fiancé off to Vegas, and both of them can enjoy a luxury get away , and the wedding will still mean something coz the point is they are confirming their love and commitment and that’s all that matters the 20 grand venue doesn’t!
I suppose that’s the one benefit of the western culture they are able do what they want not what their family , extended family , and dead ancestors want...and then I got thinking wow not a bad idea hey and suddenly reality hit me ! Ha-ha like that will ever work with our community !!!!!
Imagine what will happen if u really did that think of the repercussions
I mean it’s just too evil to even consider
Imagine how many people will be disappointed...
First there’s your aunty Saras- the same one who has asked you when the big day is since you turned 21 - she even bought her sari on her last India trip , she’s got it in a pillow case on top of her cupboard and she’s filled it with moth balls .
She’s already bought your water set and she kept old gift paper for when she has to wrap it.
She can’t wait to make her famous jellebi and set your trays and what about her granddaughters who she hopes to flog off at your wedding the One who has to carry tray and the other two that will be doing a dance (Bollywood Style).
What about those relatives that hardly know - the ones with the unmarried son that they tried setting you up with long ago - surely they want to come to look for family girls for him? Little do they know about his escapades with his "best friend” the blonde guy ...?
And then uncle Siva (Saras’s husband)... let’s not forget him... he has to miss the united game just so he can come show off his Benz (the Indian status symbol for - "I’m a Maamu”) someone should tell him that powder blue suit doesn’t really suit him but it’s ok we'll be distracted by his dental bling and gold chains and ray bans he'll look amazing in the pics his probably gna shine more than you :-)
And most importantly your parents ... we don’t realise what they go thru the side remarks they face from society ... how’s your children ...how’s your daughter ... how old is she now ... she never met anyone? Yah but you know these children today ... mustn’t stress tell her to fast for 12 Fridays or maybe do the string prayer. Then in the next breath she goes and spreads rumours about how your parents are suffering with you! and so that’s how it all starts the minute someone starts questioning your mum the pressure kicks in and it filters down to you
Weddings are our societies social entertainment ... more crap goes on at weddings than any other family gathering ... think about it a funeral ( even thou those sometimes have drama too) is generally sad but remains dignified .. a birthday party is usually small and intimate and doesn’thave much drama ... but a wedding ... anywhere where you stuff 1000 relatives (all dressed to the 9’s) into a crowded poorly air-conditioned space and you bound to get issues hey ! You bound to get high levels of noise, lots of heckling, lots of gossip, lots of teen romances and worst of all lots of bloody screaming babies in there taffeta white dresses! And don’t even get me started on the nalagus and hurdees verindhes and bidhaais all of which cost a fortune too and are becoming even more elaborate these days! I mean seriously now people chair covers and overlays and flowers for the mendhi night isn’t that overkill?
So just before wedding season starts here’s my final taught
I'm not trying to thrash the whole wedding idea as much as it has its age old clichés and highly irritating side stories you can’t beat an Indian wedding hey for the sheer colour and joy and the Friday night wedding jol and the music and the laughter and the glamour
It’s still is the nicest event to attend and as guests when a young couple invites us to their wedding we should oblige and respect the ceremony and truly bless them not go there to complain about the food and make a noise and create the drama here’s a few things we can do to make sure we follow some basic wedding etiquette we can follow as gracious guests:
> RSVP FOR GOD SAKE - venues are charging per head these days the couple fork out a fortune on their big day if the invite asks for a RSVP then do the decent thing . Yes we know back in the day the whole street came and the food was enough for everyone but things have changed and your one extra seat makes a huge difference when the couple is working on a budget
> LEAVE THE KIDS AT HOME! If they are too small to know the meaning of “sit down and be quiet" then don’t go and spoil someone else’s sacred day. honestly there’s nothing sweet about mantras been recited while you have brats running up and down the isles ...leave your brats at home with the maid or the in laws
> DON’T COMPLAIN ABOUT THE FOOD ., who gives you the right to judge someone else’s function how dare you do such a nasty thing !how would it feel if someone does that at your function once again you were invited out of love and respect don’t be a hater
> GIVE A USEFUL GIFT or rather don’t give one at all the couple have not invited you for your wedding gift you give that as a token of love don’t recycle the water sets you got from your wedding 30 years ago chances are it’s just gna cause clutter in these peoples new lives
> And on that’s note THE GIFT REGISTRY is there so that a modern bride can make your task of choosing a gift easier! Deal with it if you don’t want to make use of it then don’t but refrain from making it a gossip topic... no she is not been forward by having one !
> DON’T OUTSHINE THE BRIDE! I don’t care how much of a beauty queen you think you are if you going there with the intention of making heads turn and a$$es burn then get a life and enter Miss India SA. This is not the day to be cattish and you poor second cousin is experiencing the biggest day of her life (true story: I have been to a wedding where one of the guests had the same sari as the bride and guess what she stayed for the entire thing and still paraded around (this applies to the guys and there white suit and panama Hats too !
> and lastly LEAVE THE BLOODY VASES ON THE TABLE yes we know you want the flowers for your dining room table but the decor is hired most of the time leave it alone !
To the bridal couple ... it’s your day do it in your way don’t be pressured into making the rest of them happy coz you never going to succeed they always going to judge! Make yourself happy first... Suze Orman is clearly not Indian because anyone who reads her books knows how she feels about wedding debt so if you decide that you need to take that R100 k loan to make your dream day possible then do it but make sure you understand that no matter what your wedding costs no matter what your serviettes and cutlery looks like the most important thing is that when you marry you are doing it for the right reason to the person you truly love and that the focus is going to be the rest of your life the actual marriage not the weeklong event that precedes it ... do what makes you happy ( PS THIS IS ESPECIALLY FOR THE COUSINS I HAVE THAT ARE GETTING MARRIED THIS WEDDING SEASON :-))
After all said and done it’s about 2 people who love each other and we should feel honoured that they want you to be a part of that And to those aunties that keep harassing the rest of us about our big day I say we will always love you but please stop nagging coz you killing the whole idea for us
We honestly sick and tired of having to smile and answer the same question every time u see us ... :p
SO just before wedding season starts and my mum’s coffee table gets bombarded with silk and organza cards (all the way from India) I say let’s not lose the plot ... enjoy all the weddings and remember the real reason for all the thamasha !
Regards
Tashi " say it like it is" Padiachy
(Chief officer of the 2010 wedding police )
Miracle Mac and cheese - The Diva Secret Weapon
Tashi's bowl them over / get over a break up- cant believe i dated a looser for that long / deal with pms and or menopause / except that work sometimes sux / deal with the Michael Jackson loss / except the ANC government as your cabinet / deal with taxi drivers/ ask for forgiveness / Except that jimmy choos and paris fashion week couture is unaffordable and be happy with the copies / alternative to expensive shoe shopping / count the calories later its winter/ celebrate culinary therapy (otherwise known as comfort eating) ----
macaroni and cheese recipe :
ingredients :
1 packet woolies macaroni (dnt you dare do for the healthy wholewheat option )
1 block mild chedder ( yes a whole block! )
1 (1.5 Ltr) fullcream milk
1.5 CUPS WHITE FLOUR 0.5 BRICK BUTTER SALT TO TASTE
loads of passion (negative energy preferably for the sauce and cheese chopping )
1 SMALL AMC POT OF MUMS TAMATOE CHUTNEY ( TAMATOE GREEN CHILLIES AND ONIONS )PS SAVE TIME GET YOUR MUM TO DO THIS BEFORE HAND
BUT IF SHE CAN’T DO IT YOUR SELF ITS BASIC
ACCESSORY INGEDIENTs
7 YEAR OLD CLEVER KID ( PREFERABLY THE SPUNKY CONFIDENT KIND NO NERDS PLEASE ) WHO APPRECIATES GOOD PASTA (FOR TESTING PURPOSES :-)
green tea
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Method :
step one :
u better wash you hands !
step two :
get someone to boil the pasta before hand or another option is you live alone do it yourself but put the stove on 6 so its quick pasta should be (al dentE) by that i mean not soft but not raw find a haPpy medium
step 3 :
the chutney this is easy- get a parent to do a whole lot and freeze it or do it fresh youRself
remember to use jam tamatoes strong chillies and fresh onion
step four: the white sauce
melt the butter in a good pot (make sure its clean no rust)
add the flour mix and watch it go golden
smash it up with a fork SIMMER BUT DNT BURN
now add the milk
dnt stress if its lumpy
(get a patatoe smasher smash and stir -it gets rid of all the lumps)
PS its at this point that the recipes name originates and makes sense you keep thinking of all the things in the name and that helps to get the sauce smooth and thick )
make sure your stove is on high for this
watch it thicken
(trust me it gets thick)
keep stiring now thats key the more you stir the better the white sauce
lastly take half a block of cheese AND START CHOPPING !
dnt be dainty about this chop it up with a really sharp knife (think of what ever you want at this point the cheese is your release )
add the chopped up cheese to the sauce and stir till its melted ps if you lift the sauce and you see the cheese strings appear then you know you gota good sauce
step 5 :
combining it all
in goes the boiled mac preferably cooled
the tamatoe chutney
and the glorius white sauce
the more white sauce the better so pour it all in
mix it good but be gentle and try not to smash up the pasta
shake the casserole dish just to set it
at this point take out a little and give it to the 7 year old to taste
if she approves you know you gota good base
indications here are that kids tend to smile alot and be brutally honest
words like : hmmm wait my mummy has to taste this .... wow thats super
usually means you got it right
step 6 :
the cheese
grate a lot and i mean alot of mild chedder ontop
till the dish looks like the entire thing is yellow
some ppl use bread crumbs but i think they fooling themselves dont be stingy ppl
step 7 :
preheated oven at 180 degrees
watch isidingo the news take a bath
basicly forget its there for like an hour
untill the cheese goes brown and crispy at the sides
step 8 : serve
warning people tend to become very attatched to there mac and cheese after that
if they start fighting over it relax keep calm and take no responsibility
tip is put some away before serving in a little margarine container coz chances are this is going be your last chance to do it
step 9 : the morning after
if the entire family are hovelled around the mac and cheese leftover in the morning once again assume no responsibility quietly take your margarine container smile at them and think man im so sharp !
step 10 : the green tea
now this off course is to cleanse your system of the access calories and calorie overload you caused it
warning never make this recipe more often then once in two months
there are real threats such as obesity and diabetes and cholesterol
but feel free to do it whenever you experience one or more of the scenarios mentioned in the name at any given time !
I’d love to know how your turned out
lots of love
Tashi
macaroni and cheese recipe :
ingredients :
1 packet woolies macaroni (dnt you dare do for the healthy wholewheat option )
1 block mild chedder ( yes a whole block! )
1 (1.5 Ltr) fullcream milk
1.5 CUPS WHITE FLOUR 0.5 BRICK BUTTER SALT TO TASTE
loads of passion (negative energy preferably for the sauce and cheese chopping )
1 SMALL AMC POT OF MUMS TAMATOE CHUTNEY ( TAMATOE GREEN CHILLIES AND ONIONS )PS SAVE TIME GET YOUR MUM TO DO THIS BEFORE HAND
BUT IF SHE CAN’T DO IT YOUR SELF ITS BASIC
ACCESSORY INGEDIENTs
7 YEAR OLD CLEVER KID ( PREFERABLY THE SPUNKY CONFIDENT KIND NO NERDS PLEASE ) WHO APPRECIATES GOOD PASTA (FOR TESTING PURPOSES :-)
green tea
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Method :
step one :
u better wash you hands !
step two :
get someone to boil the pasta before hand or another option is you live alone do it yourself but put the stove on 6 so its quick pasta should be (al dentE) by that i mean not soft but not raw find a haPpy medium
step 3 :
the chutney this is easy- get a parent to do a whole lot and freeze it or do it fresh youRself
remember to use jam tamatoes strong chillies and fresh onion
step four: the white sauce
melt the butter in a good pot (make sure its clean no rust)
add the flour mix and watch it go golden
smash it up with a fork SIMMER BUT DNT BURN
now add the milk
dnt stress if its lumpy
(get a patatoe smasher smash and stir -it gets rid of all the lumps)
PS its at this point that the recipes name originates and makes sense you keep thinking of all the things in the name and that helps to get the sauce smooth and thick )
make sure your stove is on high for this
watch it thicken
(trust me it gets thick)
keep stiring now thats key the more you stir the better the white sauce
lastly take half a block of cheese AND START CHOPPING !
dnt be dainty about this chop it up with a really sharp knife (think of what ever you want at this point the cheese is your release )
add the chopped up cheese to the sauce and stir till its melted ps if you lift the sauce and you see the cheese strings appear then you know you gota good sauce
step 5 :
combining it all
in goes the boiled mac preferably cooled
the tamatoe chutney
and the glorius white sauce
the more white sauce the better so pour it all in
mix it good but be gentle and try not to smash up the pasta
shake the casserole dish just to set it
at this point take out a little and give it to the 7 year old to taste
if she approves you know you gota good base
indications here are that kids tend to smile alot and be brutally honest
words like : hmmm wait my mummy has to taste this .... wow thats super
usually means you got it right
step 6 :
the cheese
grate a lot and i mean alot of mild chedder ontop
till the dish looks like the entire thing is yellow
some ppl use bread crumbs but i think they fooling themselves dont be stingy ppl
step 7 :
preheated oven at 180 degrees
watch isidingo the news take a bath
basicly forget its there for like an hour
untill the cheese goes brown and crispy at the sides
step 8 : serve
warning people tend to become very attatched to there mac and cheese after that
if they start fighting over it relax keep calm and take no responsibility
tip is put some away before serving in a little margarine container coz chances are this is going be your last chance to do it
step 9 : the morning after
if the entire family are hovelled around the mac and cheese leftover in the morning once again assume no responsibility quietly take your margarine container smile at them and think man im so sharp !
step 10 : the green tea
now this off course is to cleanse your system of the access calories and calorie overload you caused it
warning never make this recipe more often then once in two months
there are real threats such as obesity and diabetes and cholesterol
but feel free to do it whenever you experience one or more of the scenarios mentioned in the name at any given time !
I’d love to know how your turned out
lots of love
Tashi
A Diva in Distress (november 2009 ) my life changing experience
Loosing my Invincibility
I always need that added inspiration something crazy to happen for me to start attacking the keyboard I must admit this has been the hardest week for me not because of internal pains of nightmares of the crash but because of the sheer magnitude of losing my invincibility
For this brief moment I had absolutely no control over what was happening to me and that overwhelms me …
My first taught after the crash was no this is not happening I did not just crash this is not happening absolute deniability because that’s Tashi totally in control of everything pertaining to the day to day running of my life every move I make is carefully taught of and planned from budgets , to trips , to outings , to work to weekends
I box and organize everything and create mini plans for it all , That weekend I had a plan the Friday went according to plan and the Saturday was in motion . . . Wake up get to my beautician … stop of to get a coffee first that was planned for too because I left home 20min earlier and had to find a way to fill the time gap… do some shopping for my mum be back to watch the bulls then plan the evening
Man oh man did I ever think I could plan for what happened next and that’s when I had lost my invincibility! Seriously I lost it all
I’m always harping to my girls that it’s all part of god’s plan but then I always secretly believed that I was helping god plan my life that I could take everything and work it out .. Set a route and it will all go that way
if you know me well and most of you do, you know that I have absolutely no problem standing my ground if something bugs me I just don’t let it go hey I have had major arguments with some of my best friends because of how I never give up and don’t ask where I get it from but that defines me and now I realize its utter nonsense just why do I have to be right about everything if I’m not right does it really matter isn’t there more to life that the consequence of not being right
I’ve secretly been arrogant and self righteous about my convictions values and beliefs I have always believed in god but for most of my life have never truly realized that we cannot control everything it was just the advice I give others because I also always have to be a Florence nightingale too . I will be the first to admit that before the crash this was Tashi’s world and I just let the rest of you live in it and now I see how mortal I am and how wrong I’ve sometimes been. no offence Suzie Orman but u never helped me plan for this I never even imagined that it could happen to me scary stuff but that’s WHy I say I lIved with a air of Invincibility before now
That day I could not argue my way out of god changing my plans Before last Saturday death never occurred to me. I’ve watched my dad fight for his life everyday and thank god his always come back but in terms of mortality I never even taught of death I mean I’m 24 I never realised my life is not guaranteed
I don’t believe in being spontaneous it’s not in my nature but if the crash has taught me anything it’s definitely to start living with the attitude of why not instead of why
Do I have the answers now am I enlightened now??? NO far from it
I sit with more uncertainty than I had before Saturday I have not miraculously changed non of the Deepak chopra hogwash you expect after a life changing event but I have realized I don’t and will never have all the answers
I think for the most part my shock has subsided but my sense of mortality has returned will I go on being a master planner? Probably . but don’t ask me what I’m going to do this December holidays because im still trying to figure out the next hour
I always need that added inspiration something crazy to happen for me to start attacking the keyboard I must admit this has been the hardest week for me not because of internal pains of nightmares of the crash but because of the sheer magnitude of losing my invincibility
For this brief moment I had absolutely no control over what was happening to me and that overwhelms me …
My first taught after the crash was no this is not happening I did not just crash this is not happening absolute deniability because that’s Tashi totally in control of everything pertaining to the day to day running of my life every move I make is carefully taught of and planned from budgets , to trips , to outings , to work to weekends
I box and organize everything and create mini plans for it all , That weekend I had a plan the Friday went according to plan and the Saturday was in motion . . . Wake up get to my beautician … stop of to get a coffee first that was planned for too because I left home 20min earlier and had to find a way to fill the time gap… do some shopping for my mum be back to watch the bulls then plan the evening
Man oh man did I ever think I could plan for what happened next and that’s when I had lost my invincibility! Seriously I lost it all
I’m always harping to my girls that it’s all part of god’s plan but then I always secretly believed that I was helping god plan my life that I could take everything and work it out .. Set a route and it will all go that way
if you know me well and most of you do, you know that I have absolutely no problem standing my ground if something bugs me I just don’t let it go hey I have had major arguments with some of my best friends because of how I never give up and don’t ask where I get it from but that defines me and now I realize its utter nonsense just why do I have to be right about everything if I’m not right does it really matter isn’t there more to life that the consequence of not being right
I’ve secretly been arrogant and self righteous about my convictions values and beliefs I have always believed in god but for most of my life have never truly realized that we cannot control everything it was just the advice I give others because I also always have to be a Florence nightingale too . I will be the first to admit that before the crash this was Tashi’s world and I just let the rest of you live in it and now I see how mortal I am and how wrong I’ve sometimes been. no offence Suzie Orman but u never helped me plan for this I never even imagined that it could happen to me scary stuff but that’s WHy I say I lIved with a air of Invincibility before now
That day I could not argue my way out of god changing my plans Before last Saturday death never occurred to me. I’ve watched my dad fight for his life everyday and thank god his always come back but in terms of mortality I never even taught of death I mean I’m 24 I never realised my life is not guaranteed
I don’t believe in being spontaneous it’s not in my nature but if the crash has taught me anything it’s definitely to start living with the attitude of why not instead of why
Do I have the answers now am I enlightened now??? NO far from it
I sit with more uncertainty than I had before Saturday I have not miraculously changed non of the Deepak chopra hogwash you expect after a life changing event but I have realized I don’t and will never have all the answers
I think for the most part my shock has subsided but my sense of mortality has returned will I go on being a master planner? Probably . but don’t ask me what I’m going to do this December holidays because im still trying to figure out the next hour
Diva rule number 1 : Never forget who you are and where you came from never sell out !
in reponse to an article written in a south african indian newspaper about why white men are better ....
Note to reader: this letter in no way is intended to harm or create hate speech among race groups .. my race group have been bitterly disgraced due to one white boys actions and the following note is in no way a generalization of white people i have many white friends who i love and respect and i do not think of them in the same light as i think of this scum bag so you might not agree with what i say but allow me my democratic right to say it
Dear Pete Mcmarry AND the Indian girl (sell outs) who supported your group : In response to your uneducated decision to generalize against Indian men in order to lure Indian woman here’s a FYI the only girls you’re going to be luring are the girls that Indian guys have used already. Any self -respecting Indian girl would not be attracted to your (pig pink ) skin color or smelly arm pits. She would respect herself enough to know that she comes from a culture as old as 5000 years in which woman are the center of the family .She would have been taught the value of knowing that she carries with her the honor of her children and her husband and devotes her life to loving them because they deserve it and trust me Indian men deserve it for generations they have been role model fathers making their way in a land in which your forefathers exploited them these Indian men slogged and fought so that they could educate their children provide for their families and protect their women please note that divorce is a concept that your culture developed , not mine ! we are a hard working people who respect our families and love each other we have a set of rules that govern how we run our lives and at the head of it all are strong Indian men ! An Indian man stands by his woman loves her through her pains and joys and makes it his duty to provide for her An Indian man understands the responsibility placed on him the day he becomes a father An Indian man honors his mother , wife , daughter and sisters and will kill for them if they are dishonored an Indian man educates his daughter not in the hope that she would lose her identity and run after the likes of you but because he knows that she has the intellect and power to be the female role model she is destined to be not some perverts whore ! An Indian man can sacrifice and go hungry but ensure that his wife, children and parents are fed An Indian man never allows his lady to support him and this is not due to his arrogance but due to generations of values passed down in which a man is to protect and cherish his family How is this so engrained in who we are ? it's simple before modernization and westernization came along our parents fought hard to make their marriages work while yours signed a paper in court and ended it our boys had a fatherly role model who imparted these values on them while yours saw you once a month gave you money for smokes and took you partying with his new wife who is probably almost your age its a basic principle of family values that our culture encourages and expects and perhaps your culture dismisses and has never truly understood so lure the Indian girls who will have you but trust me you’re not getting the pick of the litter Kind Regards An Indian princess who knows the way she wants to be treated and knows what a true man is because I have an Indian father!
Written by Tashiani Padiachy In the interest of Indians standing up for one another
Note to reader: this letter in no way is intended to harm or create hate speech among race groups .. my race group have been bitterly disgraced due to one white boys actions and the following note is in no way a generalization of white people i have many white friends who i love and respect and i do not think of them in the same light as i think of this scum bag so you might not agree with what i say but allow me my democratic right to say it
Dear Pete Mcmarry AND the Indian girl (sell outs) who supported your group : In response to your uneducated decision to generalize against Indian men in order to lure Indian woman here’s a FYI the only girls you’re going to be luring are the girls that Indian guys have used already. Any self -respecting Indian girl would not be attracted to your (pig pink ) skin color or smelly arm pits. She would respect herself enough to know that she comes from a culture as old as 5000 years in which woman are the center of the family .She would have been taught the value of knowing that she carries with her the honor of her children and her husband and devotes her life to loving them because they deserve it and trust me Indian men deserve it for generations they have been role model fathers making their way in a land in which your forefathers exploited them these Indian men slogged and fought so that they could educate their children provide for their families and protect their women please note that divorce is a concept that your culture developed , not mine ! we are a hard working people who respect our families and love each other we have a set of rules that govern how we run our lives and at the head of it all are strong Indian men ! An Indian man stands by his woman loves her through her pains and joys and makes it his duty to provide for her An Indian man understands the responsibility placed on him the day he becomes a father An Indian man honors his mother , wife , daughter and sisters and will kill for them if they are dishonored an Indian man educates his daughter not in the hope that she would lose her identity and run after the likes of you but because he knows that she has the intellect and power to be the female role model she is destined to be not some perverts whore ! An Indian man can sacrifice and go hungry but ensure that his wife, children and parents are fed An Indian man never allows his lady to support him and this is not due to his arrogance but due to generations of values passed down in which a man is to protect and cherish his family How is this so engrained in who we are ? it's simple before modernization and westernization came along our parents fought hard to make their marriages work while yours signed a paper in court and ended it our boys had a fatherly role model who imparted these values on them while yours saw you once a month gave you money for smokes and took you partying with his new wife who is probably almost your age its a basic principle of family values that our culture encourages and expects and perhaps your culture dismisses and has never truly understood so lure the Indian girls who will have you but trust me you’re not getting the pick of the litter Kind Regards An Indian princess who knows the way she wants to be treated and knows what a true man is because I have an Indian father!
Written by Tashiani Padiachy In the interest of Indians standing up for one another
Why freedom is the essence to being Diva ! (election day 2009)
Bob Marley’s prophecy … the truth of the ganja! “Get up , stand up … stand up for your right” ok he was stoned when he wrote that but it’s amazing how much truth there is in it and how his words are so relevant now …
As someone who constantly voices my opinion through my writing, today I cannot pass up the opportunity to have a say. I often need inspiration something that appeals to my core for me to get the motivation and ability to project it in words …
And today I have it! Because as a young South African I have lived in a part of history, I have witnessed it and now I am part of the blessed generation that bear testimony from having been born into a revolutionary South Africa . Born in the 80’s the era that saw the youth of this country rise up meant that for the better part of my years I have lived in a free South Africa where my life was never determined by the color of my skin and that is inspiration enough to appeal to my core …So let’s put it in perspective on this cold ELECTION day of April 22nd 2009. My words will be strong and I will say what I feel without being politically correct because I cannot write this piece without been true to my emotion! The beautiful thing about this day and age is that I have the democratic right to have my say. For me the true freedom will be realized when my readers read this with an open mind… without seeing it as attack but expression
I remember 1994 clearly, my parents casting their vote in Dawn Park- Chris Haney’s resident town. That was a significant moment to them and their reasons were clear. The many years of their lives spent in segregation been demoralized. Having to protest in the streets of Actonville against their own kind, Indians who had sold their souls and people to the nationalist government ! Forced removals from Denver, Dornfontein , Marbastad and Fietas due to the group areas act. The plight of the Indian flower sellers and fruit and vegetable vendors who had their trade licenses revoked when the ex Angolan colonists came to Johannesburg! And my grandfather who after his death had his Heidelberg land stolen away from his young wife and son by the man acting as his nominee.
This week A older white colleague had the nerve to tell me that Indians benefited the most from apartheid and that they continue to benefit today due to their corrupt dealings with the ANC government ! I looked at this lady in shock and disgust but held my composure because fighting her with my tongue would have had no impact on her mentality. She is the beneficiary of the apartheid government who was fed on selective information so I forgive her ignorance.. Racism was entrenched into her generation in the same way that acceptance is entrenched into mine. I can imagine what fear she faces currently and how she has seen this significant change in history affect her life from being the chosen race that was given everything to been a minority .Her claims that “no black man can ever rule himself” and her brash racists statements comes from a place of fear so I will forgive her racisms but what I will not stand is her blatant attack on my people! She is probably the same age as my dad and I sat there thinking that she could never and will never understand the contribution that he has made to this free South Africa. She will never understand the sheer magnitude and contributions of Indian families across this land! We came to their colonized stolen land and we made a difference in our lives we fought of the shackles of their indenture laws and today we are proud people who contribute positively to modern day South Africa. No apartheid government educated our youth! No apartheid government built our mosques, schools, temples and churches! We were the “Sammie’s” that tended their bars! We were the “coolies “that did their undesired jobs! We were the office clerks that handled their accounts if we were lucky enough to get those jobs! but it was Indian teachers that taught our children in schools that were built by people like ML Sultan and not the nationalist government and today we are the advocates , surgeons and CEO’s that help this economy function !
Indian South Africans fended for themselves and did so with honor, dignity and a willingness to survive! and might I make another bold statement by saying Indian South Africans have contributed to the freedom struggle by producing people like Fatima Meer , Ahmed Kathara and the Cachalia family to mention a few
In 1989 My dad had moved us out of Actonville and fought with the Boksburg municipality so that we could have a beautiful home in what was then known as one of the first “grey areas” by that I mean my neighbors were white and their daughter Carrie and I had not realized the color difference when we played and made friends with their maids daughter, change was brewing slowly ! a year later Mandela was free and apartheid was dying off . At that young age I did not care that they cut our lights due to protest for us to have the title deeds. I did not care that I needed a special permit to attend a crèche that would not take a child of color . How could I have understood what all those mini battles waged then meant for me in the years to come. I remember clearly the day the South African Tamil federation showed allegiance to the ANC, as a baby I could never understand what that affiliation meant for Tamil people in this country and why my dad and his counterparts celebrated its significance so much now I understand that that day they had stated their claim on the struggle and did so because this was their struggle and not a white black war that had been waged . It was about standing up against discrimination and telling the nationalist government that Indians could NOT be bought!
Perhaps in the broader scheme of things apartheid cast a mere shadow on my life but I was lucky enough to be born into the era of true change.. so even though as a Indian 4 year old child I could not go to the park across the road from my parents Boksburg offices it makes no significant impact on my life because change came and gave me my future !
Can we allow those sacrifices to be overshadowed by our fear of a ruling party’s choice of candidate , why have we as minority south Africans turned to leaving our beautiful land . I intend to stay here because I am a beneficiary of years of sacrifice. I intend to stay here because in this land today we have our right to freedom based on the one thing that protects it THE CONSTITUTION and I love my land where I can have my say write what I feel and make my own choices . I love the fact that women like Zille and De lille have the freedom to expose wrong doing. I pray that we will always have those rights!
I have made intended statements today but don’t think of me as a racist my aim is to be true to my identity that of SOUTH AFRICAN OF Indian origin. I am a young South African that feels truly blessed to be living in this free land. No matter what the outcome of our elections today I know that the true battle has been won because my white and black friends talk to me as Tashiani the person! And that is what makes us the changed generation we are! We have schooled together we have learnt together and we accept each other. The beauty of this generation is that our worlds are not as far removed as that of our parents were! The younger South Africa are accepting and tolerant we make friends across the color divide and we accept all. Our generations are true liberals because of the freedom that the past generation has gifted to us and
that my dear friend is worth inspiration. So have a great election day and remember that it is a blessing to be free today!
As someone who constantly voices my opinion through my writing, today I cannot pass up the opportunity to have a say. I often need inspiration something that appeals to my core for me to get the motivation and ability to project it in words …
And today I have it! Because as a young South African I have lived in a part of history, I have witnessed it and now I am part of the blessed generation that bear testimony from having been born into a revolutionary South Africa . Born in the 80’s the era that saw the youth of this country rise up meant that for the better part of my years I have lived in a free South Africa where my life was never determined by the color of my skin and that is inspiration enough to appeal to my core …So let’s put it in perspective on this cold ELECTION day of April 22nd 2009. My words will be strong and I will say what I feel without being politically correct because I cannot write this piece without been true to my emotion! The beautiful thing about this day and age is that I have the democratic right to have my say. For me the true freedom will be realized when my readers read this with an open mind… without seeing it as attack but expression
I remember 1994 clearly, my parents casting their vote in Dawn Park- Chris Haney’s resident town. That was a significant moment to them and their reasons were clear. The many years of their lives spent in segregation been demoralized. Having to protest in the streets of Actonville against their own kind, Indians who had sold their souls and people to the nationalist government ! Forced removals from Denver, Dornfontein , Marbastad and Fietas due to the group areas act. The plight of the Indian flower sellers and fruit and vegetable vendors who had their trade licenses revoked when the ex Angolan colonists came to Johannesburg! And my grandfather who after his death had his Heidelberg land stolen away from his young wife and son by the man acting as his nominee.
This week A older white colleague had the nerve to tell me that Indians benefited the most from apartheid and that they continue to benefit today due to their corrupt dealings with the ANC government ! I looked at this lady in shock and disgust but held my composure because fighting her with my tongue would have had no impact on her mentality. She is the beneficiary of the apartheid government who was fed on selective information so I forgive her ignorance.. Racism was entrenched into her generation in the same way that acceptance is entrenched into mine. I can imagine what fear she faces currently and how she has seen this significant change in history affect her life from being the chosen race that was given everything to been a minority .Her claims that “no black man can ever rule himself” and her brash racists statements comes from a place of fear so I will forgive her racisms but what I will not stand is her blatant attack on my people! She is probably the same age as my dad and I sat there thinking that she could never and will never understand the contribution that he has made to this free South Africa. She will never understand the sheer magnitude and contributions of Indian families across this land! We came to their colonized stolen land and we made a difference in our lives we fought of the shackles of their indenture laws and today we are proud people who contribute positively to modern day South Africa. No apartheid government educated our youth! No apartheid government built our mosques, schools, temples and churches! We were the “Sammie’s” that tended their bars! We were the “coolies “that did their undesired jobs! We were the office clerks that handled their accounts if we were lucky enough to get those jobs! but it was Indian teachers that taught our children in schools that were built by people like ML Sultan and not the nationalist government and today we are the advocates , surgeons and CEO’s that help this economy function !
Indian South Africans fended for themselves and did so with honor, dignity and a willingness to survive! and might I make another bold statement by saying Indian South Africans have contributed to the freedom struggle by producing people like Fatima Meer , Ahmed Kathara and the Cachalia family to mention a few
In 1989 My dad had moved us out of Actonville and fought with the Boksburg municipality so that we could have a beautiful home in what was then known as one of the first “grey areas” by that I mean my neighbors were white and their daughter Carrie and I had not realized the color difference when we played and made friends with their maids daughter, change was brewing slowly ! a year later Mandela was free and apartheid was dying off . At that young age I did not care that they cut our lights due to protest for us to have the title deeds. I did not care that I needed a special permit to attend a crèche that would not take a child of color . How could I have understood what all those mini battles waged then meant for me in the years to come. I remember clearly the day the South African Tamil federation showed allegiance to the ANC, as a baby I could never understand what that affiliation meant for Tamil people in this country and why my dad and his counterparts celebrated its significance so much now I understand that that day they had stated their claim on the struggle and did so because this was their struggle and not a white black war that had been waged . It was about standing up against discrimination and telling the nationalist government that Indians could NOT be bought!
Perhaps in the broader scheme of things apartheid cast a mere shadow on my life but I was lucky enough to be born into the era of true change.. so even though as a Indian 4 year old child I could not go to the park across the road from my parents Boksburg offices it makes no significant impact on my life because change came and gave me my future !
Can we allow those sacrifices to be overshadowed by our fear of a ruling party’s choice of candidate , why have we as minority south Africans turned to leaving our beautiful land . I intend to stay here because I am a beneficiary of years of sacrifice. I intend to stay here because in this land today we have our right to freedom based on the one thing that protects it THE CONSTITUTION and I love my land where I can have my say write what I feel and make my own choices . I love the fact that women like Zille and De lille have the freedom to expose wrong doing. I pray that we will always have those rights!
I have made intended statements today but don’t think of me as a racist my aim is to be true to my identity that of SOUTH AFRICAN OF Indian origin. I am a young South African that feels truly blessed to be living in this free land. No matter what the outcome of our elections today I know that the true battle has been won because my white and black friends talk to me as Tashiani the person! And that is what makes us the changed generation we are! We have schooled together we have learnt together and we accept each other. The beauty of this generation is that our worlds are not as far removed as that of our parents were! The younger South Africa are accepting and tolerant we make friends across the color divide and we accept all. Our generations are true liberals because of the freedom that the past generation has gifted to us and
that my dear friend is worth inspiration. So have a great election day and remember that it is a blessing to be free today!
We Dwell in Possibility
A year ago I sat on an early morning flight to cape town and began writing one of my infamous blogs. The topic was my usual cosmo-ishq satire and opinionated “ bullshyt” you have started to enjoy … frivolous issues that affect the day to day lives of young people in there 20’s
But let me throw a curve ball … on this afternoon flight back I have more important issues to voice … matters that affect you , I , our families , colleagues , neighbors , communities, fellow south Africans even the silver haired friendly gentleman sitting next to me .
This epiphany was brought on by reality that shook me up and made me see first hand the affects of the current economic crisis.. This recession is not about the red arrows you see on Bloomberg or the stats and figures that even economists can’t always grasp. Its not about inflationary pressures of the deficit on the trade account . Its not about consumer spending or market trends. Its something larger than that it’s the phenomenon of the butterfly affect that starts with a flutter of the NASDAQ and hang seng then simultaneously creates storms in the lives of people so far removed and so many miles away from those worlds. I liken this recession to the storms I experienced in cape town this week extreme , sudden, destroying the weak first and leaving disastrous damage in its wrath ….
I have a large customer in Cape Town that I earned my consulting stripes there. They are major players in the South African dairy industry and employ people from various demographics. In the time I have worked on this project I have come to know on a personal level people from all parts of the business … Directors , IT specialists’ , receptionists , and most importantly the minimum wage warehouse workers who etch out a living out of R1200 a month with ten mouths to feed and tons of humility and love …
The honor in which they do their difficult grueling jobs humbles me every time I get an opportunity to run around that warehouse with them … and even though I bring with me a fancy hand held PDA that they expected to learn to operate and an even fancier warehouse system that is suppose to replace some of their functions and takes their warehouse into the dawn of cutting edge technology that they will never understand .. They treat me not as a stranger but as a young lady who they respect and treat with as much care as they would their own daughters “hello massah …. U having a lekker time in cape town ? “ I always reply with a smile on my face .. Amazed at there happiness and contentment with life.
To my horror and shock I got to Cape Town to find half of the depot and plant closed due to cutbacks. I guess the business impact of this is not severe as its part of an economic cycle that trends itself to ups and downs and large companies often hedge against crisis. So they will ride out this period and the many pallets of product not moving due to low demand will eventually be sold at special prices..So in terms of business my client will be okay.. But this blog is not about that. That’s not the real issue … due to the cut back in the past month they have layed of 900 plus workers …. The impact of this is frightening 900 bread winners … 900 families without an income to see them through the rising food prices how are they going to put bread on the table???
The fact is that this recession is merciless and unforgiving and it will hit the poorest and weakest first , their livelihoods jeopardized by things they can’t control . Human beings will be tested and true humanity would be the only savior .now more then ever its time for the spirit of humanity to emerge it is possible to alleviate the crisis . if all of us can spare a taught for our fellow man who are unable to believe anymore who have been subjected to poverty robbed by circumstance and been given a raw deal in life and who have been denied the right to basic human necessities.
Life has let them down , their awaited freedom has let them down , their mayors politicians and religious leaders are still letting them down and subjecting them to an unfair existence. Today I write a different kind of blog .. asking this questions as a citizen of this world , a young adult and a future mother … what kind of world will be left if humanity lets them down ?
And yet I don’t want to paint a hopeless picture of this world. Humanity exists in so many great forms and it has shown itself in saints that have graced this earth … the mother Teresa’s the princess Diana’s . Today the world has billionaires with billion dollar homes and 50million dollar planes and the world also has amazing billionaires who can pledge their entire fortunate to the upliftment of mankind . perhaps the extreme is this if you were to be an Ambani or Mittal grandchild a few years from now your inheritance would be endless wealth and an empire … BUT if you were a Gates or Buffet grandchild your inheritance would be a legacy of absolute selfless contribution to mankind that generations from now would benefit not only you but millions of fellow humans throughout the world , if every man and women had just a little bit of warren buffets foresight then imagine how much better this world would be. YOU don’t have to be a billionaire to make a difference you just have to understand the power of giving a little to someone in need . don’t only think money because destitute people don’t want to know how much you can give but how much you care .
If you have ever felt a need to contribute to this world now more than ever is the time your little help can make an enormous difference . My wish for 2009 is that in the days ahead I can contribute to the lives of as many fellow humans as possible . I think that is a resolution worth making and keeping . I pray to god that he gives me the strength to do so .
My dear reader I hope I have inspired you today. For once my economics degree means so much more then cycles and curves. Tough times await South Africans and the people of the world but there is hope coz we all have the god given ability to make a difference .
My beloved readers I once again wish to make a very bold statement please do not take offence to my opinion but allow me the right to voice it : true devotion to god is not at a church during Sunday service or during pooja at a temple . it is not in namaaz or ritual . even though these elements are important they are less relevant than serving gods creation. your love and devotion for the creator will be proved in reaching out to your fellow man. That is what the world needs now I often think its sad that temples have become a place to show power and create ego’s time is spent splitting communities and fighting over frivolous mundane sickening issues and power struggles . In an age of today we still believe that priests , preachers and imaams can pray for us and assure us a place in heaven who has ordained them our redeemer what makes them more god fearing than the rest of us and why are they gaining so much from the business of religion ???. all that energy and time is more needed helping those who can’t help themselves that is spirituality and that is the true message that the big business of religion and its teachers fail to send out these days.
Perhaps it is appropriate now to leave you with the words of Shri Sathya Sai Baba
“ service to man is service to god “
But let me throw a curve ball … on this afternoon flight back I have more important issues to voice … matters that affect you , I , our families , colleagues , neighbors , communities, fellow south Africans even the silver haired friendly gentleman sitting next to me .
This epiphany was brought on by reality that shook me up and made me see first hand the affects of the current economic crisis.. This recession is not about the red arrows you see on Bloomberg or the stats and figures that even economists can’t always grasp. Its not about inflationary pressures of the deficit on the trade account . Its not about consumer spending or market trends. Its something larger than that it’s the phenomenon of the butterfly affect that starts with a flutter of the NASDAQ and hang seng then simultaneously creates storms in the lives of people so far removed and so many miles away from those worlds. I liken this recession to the storms I experienced in cape town this week extreme , sudden, destroying the weak first and leaving disastrous damage in its wrath ….
I have a large customer in Cape Town that I earned my consulting stripes there. They are major players in the South African dairy industry and employ people from various demographics. In the time I have worked on this project I have come to know on a personal level people from all parts of the business … Directors , IT specialists’ , receptionists , and most importantly the minimum wage warehouse workers who etch out a living out of R1200 a month with ten mouths to feed and tons of humility and love …
The honor in which they do their difficult grueling jobs humbles me every time I get an opportunity to run around that warehouse with them … and even though I bring with me a fancy hand held PDA that they expected to learn to operate and an even fancier warehouse system that is suppose to replace some of their functions and takes their warehouse into the dawn of cutting edge technology that they will never understand .. They treat me not as a stranger but as a young lady who they respect and treat with as much care as they would their own daughters “hello massah …. U having a lekker time in cape town ? “ I always reply with a smile on my face .. Amazed at there happiness and contentment with life.
To my horror and shock I got to Cape Town to find half of the depot and plant closed due to cutbacks. I guess the business impact of this is not severe as its part of an economic cycle that trends itself to ups and downs and large companies often hedge against crisis. So they will ride out this period and the many pallets of product not moving due to low demand will eventually be sold at special prices..So in terms of business my client will be okay.. But this blog is not about that. That’s not the real issue … due to the cut back in the past month they have layed of 900 plus workers …. The impact of this is frightening 900 bread winners … 900 families without an income to see them through the rising food prices how are they going to put bread on the table???
The fact is that this recession is merciless and unforgiving and it will hit the poorest and weakest first , their livelihoods jeopardized by things they can’t control . Human beings will be tested and true humanity would be the only savior .now more then ever its time for the spirit of humanity to emerge it is possible to alleviate the crisis . if all of us can spare a taught for our fellow man who are unable to believe anymore who have been subjected to poverty robbed by circumstance and been given a raw deal in life and who have been denied the right to basic human necessities.
Life has let them down , their awaited freedom has let them down , their mayors politicians and religious leaders are still letting them down and subjecting them to an unfair existence. Today I write a different kind of blog .. asking this questions as a citizen of this world , a young adult and a future mother … what kind of world will be left if humanity lets them down ?
And yet I don’t want to paint a hopeless picture of this world. Humanity exists in so many great forms and it has shown itself in saints that have graced this earth … the mother Teresa’s the princess Diana’s . Today the world has billionaires with billion dollar homes and 50million dollar planes and the world also has amazing billionaires who can pledge their entire fortunate to the upliftment of mankind . perhaps the extreme is this if you were to be an Ambani or Mittal grandchild a few years from now your inheritance would be endless wealth and an empire … BUT if you were a Gates or Buffet grandchild your inheritance would be a legacy of absolute selfless contribution to mankind that generations from now would benefit not only you but millions of fellow humans throughout the world , if every man and women had just a little bit of warren buffets foresight then imagine how much better this world would be. YOU don’t have to be a billionaire to make a difference you just have to understand the power of giving a little to someone in need . don’t only think money because destitute people don’t want to know how much you can give but how much you care .
If you have ever felt a need to contribute to this world now more than ever is the time your little help can make an enormous difference . My wish for 2009 is that in the days ahead I can contribute to the lives of as many fellow humans as possible . I think that is a resolution worth making and keeping . I pray to god that he gives me the strength to do so .
My dear reader I hope I have inspired you today. For once my economics degree means so much more then cycles and curves. Tough times await South Africans and the people of the world but there is hope coz we all have the god given ability to make a difference .
My beloved readers I once again wish to make a very bold statement please do not take offence to my opinion but allow me the right to voice it : true devotion to god is not at a church during Sunday service or during pooja at a temple . it is not in namaaz or ritual . even though these elements are important they are less relevant than serving gods creation. your love and devotion for the creator will be proved in reaching out to your fellow man. That is what the world needs now I often think its sad that temples have become a place to show power and create ego’s time is spent splitting communities and fighting over frivolous mundane sickening issues and power struggles . In an age of today we still believe that priests , preachers and imaams can pray for us and assure us a place in heaven who has ordained them our redeemer what makes them more god fearing than the rest of us and why are they gaining so much from the business of religion ???. all that energy and time is more needed helping those who can’t help themselves that is spirituality and that is the true message that the big business of religion and its teachers fail to send out these days.
Perhaps it is appropriate now to leave you with the words of Shri Sathya Sai Baba
“ service to man is service to god “
boys are made of snakes and worms and Puppy dogs Tails
It’s not even funny when these women sing love songs that make you want to cry … Leona Lewis and her bleeding love .
Poor Mariah who can’t live without some low life who’s probably a playa
Poor Celine who drove all night and didn’t realize that she could’ve driven to a spa and got a massage instead
Or how about Whitney who sounds like a saint when she wishes her ex-boyfriend love and happiness …..
I’ve been a little gal who grew up reading love stories I’m a closet Bollywood fan
And I was raised with pre conceived notions ideas and taughts …. Most dangerously I grew up with ideals and ridiculous fairytales….
Growing up you realize that we are not in love but in love with the idea of it … so cliche but then isn’t love a cliche? Hasn’t it become that
What’s more important claiming undying love or respecting and supporting each other…
Love has been the detriment of many woman people stay with abusive spouses because they think they in love it’s not love its emotional blackmail, they turn a blind eye to adultery because they don’t want to lose their love it’s not losing your love it’s your fear of been alone, it amazes me how so much is tolerated in the name of love …
Just what is wrong with us??? when love sick people tell me how they can’t live without someone I wonder how they entered this world alone and manage to get to their 20’s without that person ????
I had to explain to someone today that friendship counts more and that’s the first step and I’m not sure if this person got what I was saying so I’m doing what I do best I’m writing it …
Remember my theory of acceptance… I did that when I was once again blinded by a fairy tale … well in a perfect world we all will love unconditionally … but this is not a perfect world people … world markets are crashing …
Currencies are dropping …. Brent crude is thru the roof and there are still a million starving children in Africa … where is the love to make it all better??? (How very black eyed peas of me)
My grandparents at 17 and 21 did not love each other they didn’t have an amazing courtship or run around trees and buy each other perfumes and diamonds to prove anything but they survived 60 years married … they raised a family and on his death bed she held his hand till his last breath … what has happened to those ideals and values ….. Have they all been lost in a world where BMW’s and G T I‘s can get some gals to say yes instantly …
What’s wrong with this picture????
Are we so consumed by our idealistic notions that we forgetting what really counts
I know I sound like a cynic now but I’m tired of that word been used in vane I’m tired of it been used as a prop… I’m tired of believing in fairytales … prince charming has ditched his white horse for a red Ferrari only now… when he gets to the destitute princess she can save herself and probably has more guts and valor than charming… Charming might need his friends to help him fight of the dragon because without them he can’t win a fight …It kind of puts a new spin on the fairytale hey … what’s worse is that happily ever after has a sequel... its called “Divorced for ever thereafter “… and around the corner There’s a charming with a Lear jet and a fleet of Ferrari’s to make it all better again
Ladies here’s my advice:
To my gold digger colleague who openly claims that she expects her bf to pay her bills and her husband to work while she gyms and does her nails because he loves her … where the hell is yourself respect woman !!! The term is called --- prostitute and I don’t see the difference between a gold digger and a street walker …
To my friends who are dealing with the narcissistic boyfriends who continue to lie and cheat and degrade them …. His not worth it … don’t let him destroy you because he has insecurities… I really believe that for every scum bag on this planet there are 5 more gentleman who will love and respect you and not use you as an accessory for over inflated egos and Steroid induced testosterone and prince charming syndrome that really equates to narcissism
To my friends who have to hear this at some point …. If charming is all you think he is then why does he make you cry or why has he got you to the point of so much hurt …
U has a lot of inner strength as your gal I know this so find that inner fighter and kick some ass...
And lastly to my darling princess syndrome friends who are still waiting for the guy on the white horse and a happily ever after don’t build castles in the sky!!! Give the nice guy a chance because he truly cares and at some point you will realize that. When that street walker slag who wants to use him for her manicure addiction becomes his trophy wife then it will be too late
Put simply I have a new theory … stop expecting fairytales... If something doesn’t work move on …because you wasting a lot of energy crying and deliberating on your future
A final note dear reader: you might not agree with what I say but allow me the right to say it... and then feel free to let me know your opinion … the beauty of living in the modern world is a right to an opinion and a voice …. This is me standing on my little soap box declaring that once upon a time should be kept in the story books …
Poor Mariah who can’t live without some low life who’s probably a playa
Poor Celine who drove all night and didn’t realize that she could’ve driven to a spa and got a massage instead
Or how about Whitney who sounds like a saint when she wishes her ex-boyfriend love and happiness …..
I’ve been a little gal who grew up reading love stories I’m a closet Bollywood fan
And I was raised with pre conceived notions ideas and taughts …. Most dangerously I grew up with ideals and ridiculous fairytales….
Growing up you realize that we are not in love but in love with the idea of it … so cliche but then isn’t love a cliche? Hasn’t it become that
What’s more important claiming undying love or respecting and supporting each other…
Love has been the detriment of many woman people stay with abusive spouses because they think they in love it’s not love its emotional blackmail, they turn a blind eye to adultery because they don’t want to lose their love it’s not losing your love it’s your fear of been alone, it amazes me how so much is tolerated in the name of love …
Just what is wrong with us??? when love sick people tell me how they can’t live without someone I wonder how they entered this world alone and manage to get to their 20’s without that person ????
I had to explain to someone today that friendship counts more and that’s the first step and I’m not sure if this person got what I was saying so I’m doing what I do best I’m writing it …
Remember my theory of acceptance… I did that when I was once again blinded by a fairy tale … well in a perfect world we all will love unconditionally … but this is not a perfect world people … world markets are crashing …
Currencies are dropping …. Brent crude is thru the roof and there are still a million starving children in Africa … where is the love to make it all better??? (How very black eyed peas of me)
My grandparents at 17 and 21 did not love each other they didn’t have an amazing courtship or run around trees and buy each other perfumes and diamonds to prove anything but they survived 60 years married … they raised a family and on his death bed she held his hand till his last breath … what has happened to those ideals and values ….. Have they all been lost in a world where BMW’s and G T I‘s can get some gals to say yes instantly …
What’s wrong with this picture????
Are we so consumed by our idealistic notions that we forgetting what really counts
I know I sound like a cynic now but I’m tired of that word been used in vane I’m tired of it been used as a prop… I’m tired of believing in fairytales … prince charming has ditched his white horse for a red Ferrari only now… when he gets to the destitute princess she can save herself and probably has more guts and valor than charming… Charming might need his friends to help him fight of the dragon because without them he can’t win a fight …It kind of puts a new spin on the fairytale hey … what’s worse is that happily ever after has a sequel... its called “Divorced for ever thereafter “… and around the corner There’s a charming with a Lear jet and a fleet of Ferrari’s to make it all better again
Ladies here’s my advice:
To my gold digger colleague who openly claims that she expects her bf to pay her bills and her husband to work while she gyms and does her nails because he loves her … where the hell is yourself respect woman !!! The term is called --- prostitute and I don’t see the difference between a gold digger and a street walker …
To my friends who are dealing with the narcissistic boyfriends who continue to lie and cheat and degrade them …. His not worth it … don’t let him destroy you because he has insecurities… I really believe that for every scum bag on this planet there are 5 more gentleman who will love and respect you and not use you as an accessory for over inflated egos and Steroid induced testosterone and prince charming syndrome that really equates to narcissism
To my friends who have to hear this at some point …. If charming is all you think he is then why does he make you cry or why has he got you to the point of so much hurt …
U has a lot of inner strength as your gal I know this so find that inner fighter and kick some ass...
And lastly to my darling princess syndrome friends who are still waiting for the guy on the white horse and a happily ever after don’t build castles in the sky!!! Give the nice guy a chance because he truly cares and at some point you will realize that. When that street walker slag who wants to use him for her manicure addiction becomes his trophy wife then it will be too late
Put simply I have a new theory … stop expecting fairytales... If something doesn’t work move on …because you wasting a lot of energy crying and deliberating on your future
A final note dear reader: you might not agree with what I say but allow me the right to say it... and then feel free to let me know your opinion … the beauty of living in the modern world is a right to an opinion and a voice …. This is me standing on my little soap box declaring that once upon a time should be kept in the story books …
Bastard syndrome - a sequel to the Theory of Acceptance
I haven’t written in a while and Its due to needing some inspiration … quite a double edged sword because often it means experiencing some form of the topic yourself in order to find the conviction and power to write about it …
In a sequel to the theory of acceptance I’d like to present a new theory that I think effect most gals my age …although it’s not a theory it’s a diagnosis for Bastard Syndrome …
You know the old saying men are dogs! Well I disagree not all men are dogs. Men are dogs because we are attracted to the worst of them.
How often do we give Mr. nice guy a chance??? Never right we conveniently make him a friend …
Analyze for a second the saying “nice guys finish last “or how bout “good gals like bad boys “such a weird phenomenon …
Its time to make a confession and face this fact now and put an end to it as well …
If there was a help group for this occurrence I’d be the first to stand up and say “Hi, I’m Tashi and I suffer from Bastard syndrome “
My definition of bastard syndrome or bad boy syndrome to sound less controversial ??? I sometimes am attracted to the worst of them.. The narcissistic self gratifying player … the liars… the cheats the smooth talkers , the tough guys , I cant give an explanation maybe it’s the excitement or the drama . It’s the theory that gals like me like bad guys!!! But now I say enough!!!
Fortunately at 23 I’ve been through them and I choose not to be naive anymore
I dedicate this article to 2 very special ladies …This morning I found I’m not the only one who has bastard syndrome … I’ve got two exceptionally beautiful friends who told me there stories this morning and this is what has inspired my writing today
Its so easy to be lied to … its so easy to sit back and be naive but in a skeptical negative world we all want to believe that people are good and that they should be given the benefit of the doubt … but when your emotions and hearts are at risk then no one has a right to lie to you . no one man or women has the right to betray your trust because if they do then not only do they not respect themselves but more importantly they do not respect you and should not have the honor of been with you .
I'm going to say this to the guys out there who treat gals as things … who choose to cheat and blatantly string a list of gals along … to the classic Players who at this point are the hero’s amongst there shallow guy friends and kryptonite to innocent gals who are easily fooled .. we all grow old we all loose our charm and looks … it all comes back to haunt you do unto others as
you would like done onto you !!! And for god sake have a conscience …you might suffer from insecurities and therefore been a playa might gratify you but hurting people emotionally only adds to the ticks against you in the end we all have to pay somewhere or somehow for our actions!
To the gals and guys who have been cheated on or are a number on a list you need to understand this… if one person is a rotten egg never judge the rest of the species as they should not suffer for the rot amongst them. Listen to your intuition and never give off emotion when you are unsure if you know you with a playa no matter what you do his lies wont end and it would take a lot for him to see his errors don’t sit back waiting for that protect yourself against heartbreak because once you are able to control this it all becomes a whole lot easier.
I think in a time and age of today we are to easily fooled by the superficial and so often I hear my girlfriends say there are no decent guys out there I don’t believe that’s true I do believe that you still have people with morals values and the right ideals … you just got to take extra care in recognizing them when they come along …
We so often make the mistake of letting our past hurt make us cautious and we tend to carry baggage into new relationships perhaps this is part of the problem … to the two gals I mentioned earlier I want you to know that you are beautiful and will get through this and if it seems impossible listen to Rihanna’s lyrics and tell that looser to take a bow his gig is up!!!
Till my next piece dear reader I hope I’ve inspired you with a bit of hope … been hurt is an experience that amounts to a life lesson that makes you stronger and street
In a sequel to the theory of acceptance I’d like to present a new theory that I think effect most gals my age …although it’s not a theory it’s a diagnosis for Bastard Syndrome …
You know the old saying men are dogs! Well I disagree not all men are dogs. Men are dogs because we are attracted to the worst of them.
How often do we give Mr. nice guy a chance??? Never right we conveniently make him a friend …
Analyze for a second the saying “nice guys finish last “or how bout “good gals like bad boys “such a weird phenomenon …
Its time to make a confession and face this fact now and put an end to it as well …
If there was a help group for this occurrence I’d be the first to stand up and say “Hi, I’m Tashi and I suffer from Bastard syndrome “
My definition of bastard syndrome or bad boy syndrome to sound less controversial ??? I sometimes am attracted to the worst of them.. The narcissistic self gratifying player … the liars… the cheats the smooth talkers , the tough guys , I cant give an explanation maybe it’s the excitement or the drama . It’s the theory that gals like me like bad guys!!! But now I say enough!!!
Fortunately at 23 I’ve been through them and I choose not to be naive anymore
I dedicate this article to 2 very special ladies …This morning I found I’m not the only one who has bastard syndrome … I’ve got two exceptionally beautiful friends who told me there stories this morning and this is what has inspired my writing today
Its so easy to be lied to … its so easy to sit back and be naive but in a skeptical negative world we all want to believe that people are good and that they should be given the benefit of the doubt … but when your emotions and hearts are at risk then no one has a right to lie to you . no one man or women has the right to betray your trust because if they do then not only do they not respect themselves but more importantly they do not respect you and should not have the honor of been with you .
I'm going to say this to the guys out there who treat gals as things … who choose to cheat and blatantly string a list of gals along … to the classic Players who at this point are the hero’s amongst there shallow guy friends and kryptonite to innocent gals who are easily fooled .. we all grow old we all loose our charm and looks … it all comes back to haunt you do unto others as
you would like done onto you !!! And for god sake have a conscience …you might suffer from insecurities and therefore been a playa might gratify you but hurting people emotionally only adds to the ticks against you in the end we all have to pay somewhere or somehow for our actions!
To the gals and guys who have been cheated on or are a number on a list you need to understand this… if one person is a rotten egg never judge the rest of the species as they should not suffer for the rot amongst them. Listen to your intuition and never give off emotion when you are unsure if you know you with a playa no matter what you do his lies wont end and it would take a lot for him to see his errors don’t sit back waiting for that protect yourself against heartbreak because once you are able to control this it all becomes a whole lot easier.
I think in a time and age of today we are to easily fooled by the superficial and so often I hear my girlfriends say there are no decent guys out there I don’t believe that’s true I do believe that you still have people with morals values and the right ideals … you just got to take extra care in recognizing them when they come along …
We so often make the mistake of letting our past hurt make us cautious and we tend to carry baggage into new relationships perhaps this is part of the problem … to the two gals I mentioned earlier I want you to know that you are beautiful and will get through this and if it seems impossible listen to Rihanna’s lyrics and tell that looser to take a bow his gig is up!!!
Till my next piece dear reader I hope I’ve inspired you with a bit of hope … been hurt is an experience that amounts to a life lesson that makes you stronger and street
The theory of Acceptance
I DON'T PROFESS TO BE AN EXPERT BUT I DO KNOW FROM BEING A DR PHIL FOR SO LONG AND FROM EXPERIENCING A BIT OF IT MYSELF THAT RELATIONSHIPS ARE COMPLICATED AFFAIRS ...
AND TOO OFTEN WE MISJUDGE WHERE AND HOW OUR IDEAL PARTNER NEEDS TO SLOT IN
OK SO I'M GOING TO TRY SAYING THIS WITHOUT USING ECONOMIC OR INFORMATION SYSTEM ANALOGIES TRY TO 'UN-NERDIFY' THE WAY MY BRAIN VIEWS IT...SO THAT U DEAR READER HAS SOME BASIC IDEA
THE PROBLEM STARTS AT THE DREAM GUY DREAM GIRL IMAGE WE ALL BUILD .. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT - SOMEONE WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR DOWN TO EARTH, THE PERFECT NOSE ,A FERRARI , LOOKS GOOD IN A PAIR OF SHORTS - AND WE SPEND OUR ENTIRE YOUTH LOOKING FOR THE PERSON THAT MEETS OUR SPECIFICATIONS
OFTEN DISAPPOINTING OUR SELVES COZ AS GREAT AS HE MIGHT LOOK IN A PAIR OF SHORTS HE HAS A BRAIN OF A CHIMP AND THE MATURITY OF A SIX YEAR OLD SO WHAT DO WE DO ??? - AND YES I WILL SAY WE COZ FEMALES TEND TO DO THIS ALOT ... AFTER REALISING THAT 'ADONIS' IS NOT WHO WE WANT HIM TO BE WE TRY CHANGING HIM GET HIM TO READ AND ACTUALLY WATCH THE NEWS INSTEAD OF THE RERUNS OF JACKASS THAT HE LOVES SO MUCH ... AND WHAT HAPPENS YOU TAKE A CHIMP OUT OF HIS HABITAT AND HE SUFFERS UNABLE TO COPE UP HE STARTS REGRETTING EVER ASKING YOU OUT AND HE ENDS UP HURTING AND SO DO U COZ U REALISE YOU DNT LOVE HIM AND NEVER WILL AND SO THE VICIOUS CYCLE GOES ON AND ON ... SO HERE'S HOW I SEE THEORY NUMBER ONE : IF YOU START OUT A RELATIONSHIP WITH A SET IDEA OF WHAT AN IDEAL PARTNER SHOULD BE YOU BUILD UP EXPECTATIONS NOT KEEPING AN OPEN MIND AND DOING THE OTHER PERSON A DISSERVICE AS THEY ARE UNAWARE THAT IN YOUR MIND YOU ARE TICKING OF A SCORE CARD OF CRITERIA ... BUT WE ARE HUMAN AND WE ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE THIS CHECKLIST ... SO HOW DO U DEAL WITH IT ??? WHEN THE PRINCE TURNS INTO A FROG ... DON'T TRY TO CHANGE HIM AS YOU WILL NEVER SUCCEED INSTEAD LEARN TO ACCEPT THE PERSON FOR WHO THEY ARE AND NOT WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO BE !IF AFTER GIVING IT A TRY U REALISE THAT YOU ARE JUST NOT WILLING TO ACCEPT WHO HE IS LEAVE BEFORE YOU CAUSE ANY HEARTACHE AND EMOTIONAL DAMAGE
BUT BOYS AND GIRLS THIS WORKS BOTH WAYS DNT TRY TO SCORE POINTS BY BEING THE IDEAL PARTNER AND MEETING THEIR REQUIREMENTS BECOZ THAT IS EVEN MORE RIDICULOUS THEN YOU CHANGING THEM. CHANGING YOUR SELF AND WHO YOU ARE MEANS SUCUMMING TO PERSONAL SACRIFICE IN THE NAME OF LOVE YOU THEN NEED TO QUESTION WHETHER ANY LOVE IS WORTH IT AND IF YOU ANSWERED YES THEN YOU PROBABLY ARE VERY IN-LOVE OR BLINDED BY INFATUATION.
OFF COURSE ONCE IN A WHILE EVERY THEORY HAS A CURVE BALL AND THAT WOULD BE FINDING SOMEONE THAT YOU HAVE NO INTENTION OF CHANGING FROM THE OUTSET YOU ARE WILLING TO ACCEPT EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS PERSON -- WHO THEY ARE WHO THEY WANT TO BE WHAT THEY STAND FOR-- THOSE THINGS THAT YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE ABOUT THIS PERSON YOU ARE WILLING TO LEARN TO ACCEPT AND EVENTUALLY LOVE. ONCE YOU'VE FOUND THAT THEN YOU HAVE FOUND "THE ONE" AND THAT MY DEAR FRIENDS IS A RARE AND PRECIOUS OCCURRENCE THAT DOSENT ONLY HAPPEN TO THE PEOPLE OF ZION IN THE MATRIX . "THE ONE" IS THE PERSON YOU WILL STAY WITH AND THE PERSON YOU ARE ORDAINED TO BE HAPPY WITH .... SO LEMME ASK YOU THE GOLDEN QUESTION HAVE YOU FOUND YOUR CURVE BALL ????
NOW JUST BECOZ I CNT RESIST LET ME SAY THIS IN I.T. TERMS TRY TO KEEP UP ...
WE SOFTWARE CONSULTANTS ARE OFTEN ASKED TO MAP A SYSTEMS CAPABILITIES TO A CUSTOMERS REQUIREMENTS
WHEN WE CAN DO THIS WE REFER TO THE IMPLEMENTATION AS A "VANILLA" SYSTEM MEANING WE HAVE NOT MADE ANY CHANGES TO MEET THE REQUIREMENTS AND THE CUSTOMER WILL USE THE SYSTEM AS IS . BUT BECAUSE THIS IS THE REAL WORLD AND MANY CUSTOMERS THINK THEY SHOULD HAVE A SYSTEM THAT WAS MADE TO MATCH THEY REQUIRE CHANGES TO FIT THEIR NEEDS WE CALL THESE "CUSTOMISATIONS" THE PROBLEM WITH CUSTOMISATIONS IS THEY COST ALOT AND MANY YEARS DOWN THE LINE WHEN THE SYSTEM GETS OLD THESE CUSTOMISATIONS END UP CAUSING PROBLEMS ELSEWHERE .... HERE'S MY POINT DON'T TRY TO CUSTOMIZE ANOTHER HUMAN BEING IT'S CRUEL AND EXPENSIVE IF IT CAUSES SO MUCH CRAP FOR A PIECE OF SOFTWARE IMAGINE HOW IT CAN MESS UP A PERSONS MIND AND PERSONA. WHEN CHOOSING A LIFE PARTNER STICK TO VANILLA INSTALLATIONS ONLY ;-)
I'D LIKE TO DEDICATE THIS BLOG TO MY VERY SPECIAL GAL WHOSE STORY INSPIRED MY TAUGHT PROCESS TODAY...
I'D ALSO LIKE TO DEDICATE THIS TO MY CURVE BALL WHO FULL FILLS THIS THEORY IN EVERY WAY I HOPE YOU TAKE OUT THE GREEN STAMP FOR THIS ONE (MWAH) ;-)
PLEASE NOTE THAT NO CHIMPS OR FROGS WERE HARMED IN THE PUBLICATION OF THIS BLOG !!!
one of the most profound poems of love you will ever read ....i pray and hope we all find this ....
Sonnet 116: "Let me not to the marriage of true minds..."
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
AND TOO OFTEN WE MISJUDGE WHERE AND HOW OUR IDEAL PARTNER NEEDS TO SLOT IN
OK SO I'M GOING TO TRY SAYING THIS WITHOUT USING ECONOMIC OR INFORMATION SYSTEM ANALOGIES TRY TO 'UN-NERDIFY' THE WAY MY BRAIN VIEWS IT...SO THAT U DEAR READER HAS SOME BASIC IDEA
THE PROBLEM STARTS AT THE DREAM GUY DREAM GIRL IMAGE WE ALL BUILD .. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT - SOMEONE WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR DOWN TO EARTH, THE PERFECT NOSE ,A FERRARI , LOOKS GOOD IN A PAIR OF SHORTS - AND WE SPEND OUR ENTIRE YOUTH LOOKING FOR THE PERSON THAT MEETS OUR SPECIFICATIONS
OFTEN DISAPPOINTING OUR SELVES COZ AS GREAT AS HE MIGHT LOOK IN A PAIR OF SHORTS HE HAS A BRAIN OF A CHIMP AND THE MATURITY OF A SIX YEAR OLD SO WHAT DO WE DO ??? - AND YES I WILL SAY WE COZ FEMALES TEND TO DO THIS ALOT ... AFTER REALISING THAT 'ADONIS' IS NOT WHO WE WANT HIM TO BE WE TRY CHANGING HIM GET HIM TO READ AND ACTUALLY WATCH THE NEWS INSTEAD OF THE RERUNS OF JACKASS THAT HE LOVES SO MUCH ... AND WHAT HAPPENS YOU TAKE A CHIMP OUT OF HIS HABITAT AND HE SUFFERS UNABLE TO COPE UP HE STARTS REGRETTING EVER ASKING YOU OUT AND HE ENDS UP HURTING AND SO DO U COZ U REALISE YOU DNT LOVE HIM AND NEVER WILL AND SO THE VICIOUS CYCLE GOES ON AND ON ... SO HERE'S HOW I SEE THEORY NUMBER ONE : IF YOU START OUT A RELATIONSHIP WITH A SET IDEA OF WHAT AN IDEAL PARTNER SHOULD BE YOU BUILD UP EXPECTATIONS NOT KEEPING AN OPEN MIND AND DOING THE OTHER PERSON A DISSERVICE AS THEY ARE UNAWARE THAT IN YOUR MIND YOU ARE TICKING OF A SCORE CARD OF CRITERIA ... BUT WE ARE HUMAN AND WE ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE THIS CHECKLIST ... SO HOW DO U DEAL WITH IT ??? WHEN THE PRINCE TURNS INTO A FROG ... DON'T TRY TO CHANGE HIM AS YOU WILL NEVER SUCCEED INSTEAD LEARN TO ACCEPT THE PERSON FOR WHO THEY ARE AND NOT WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO BE !IF AFTER GIVING IT A TRY U REALISE THAT YOU ARE JUST NOT WILLING TO ACCEPT WHO HE IS LEAVE BEFORE YOU CAUSE ANY HEARTACHE AND EMOTIONAL DAMAGE
BUT BOYS AND GIRLS THIS WORKS BOTH WAYS DNT TRY TO SCORE POINTS BY BEING THE IDEAL PARTNER AND MEETING THEIR REQUIREMENTS BECOZ THAT IS EVEN MORE RIDICULOUS THEN YOU CHANGING THEM. CHANGING YOUR SELF AND WHO YOU ARE MEANS SUCUMMING TO PERSONAL SACRIFICE IN THE NAME OF LOVE YOU THEN NEED TO QUESTION WHETHER ANY LOVE IS WORTH IT AND IF YOU ANSWERED YES THEN YOU PROBABLY ARE VERY IN-LOVE OR BLINDED BY INFATUATION.
OFF COURSE ONCE IN A WHILE EVERY THEORY HAS A CURVE BALL AND THAT WOULD BE FINDING SOMEONE THAT YOU HAVE NO INTENTION OF CHANGING FROM THE OUTSET YOU ARE WILLING TO ACCEPT EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS PERSON -- WHO THEY ARE WHO THEY WANT TO BE WHAT THEY STAND FOR-- THOSE THINGS THAT YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE ABOUT THIS PERSON YOU ARE WILLING TO LEARN TO ACCEPT AND EVENTUALLY LOVE. ONCE YOU'VE FOUND THAT THEN YOU HAVE FOUND "THE ONE" AND THAT MY DEAR FRIENDS IS A RARE AND PRECIOUS OCCURRENCE THAT DOSENT ONLY HAPPEN TO THE PEOPLE OF ZION IN THE MATRIX . "THE ONE" IS THE PERSON YOU WILL STAY WITH AND THE PERSON YOU ARE ORDAINED TO BE HAPPY WITH .... SO LEMME ASK YOU THE GOLDEN QUESTION HAVE YOU FOUND YOUR CURVE BALL ????
NOW JUST BECOZ I CNT RESIST LET ME SAY THIS IN I.T. TERMS TRY TO KEEP UP ...
WE SOFTWARE CONSULTANTS ARE OFTEN ASKED TO MAP A SYSTEMS CAPABILITIES TO A CUSTOMERS REQUIREMENTS
WHEN WE CAN DO THIS WE REFER TO THE IMPLEMENTATION AS A "VANILLA" SYSTEM MEANING WE HAVE NOT MADE ANY CHANGES TO MEET THE REQUIREMENTS AND THE CUSTOMER WILL USE THE SYSTEM AS IS . BUT BECAUSE THIS IS THE REAL WORLD AND MANY CUSTOMERS THINK THEY SHOULD HAVE A SYSTEM THAT WAS MADE TO MATCH THEY REQUIRE CHANGES TO FIT THEIR NEEDS WE CALL THESE "CUSTOMISATIONS" THE PROBLEM WITH CUSTOMISATIONS IS THEY COST ALOT AND MANY YEARS DOWN THE LINE WHEN THE SYSTEM GETS OLD THESE CUSTOMISATIONS END UP CAUSING PROBLEMS ELSEWHERE .... HERE'S MY POINT DON'T TRY TO CUSTOMIZE ANOTHER HUMAN BEING IT'S CRUEL AND EXPENSIVE IF IT CAUSES SO MUCH CRAP FOR A PIECE OF SOFTWARE IMAGINE HOW IT CAN MESS UP A PERSONS MIND AND PERSONA. WHEN CHOOSING A LIFE PARTNER STICK TO VANILLA INSTALLATIONS ONLY ;-)
I'D LIKE TO DEDICATE THIS BLOG TO MY VERY SPECIAL GAL WHOSE STORY INSPIRED MY TAUGHT PROCESS TODAY...
I'D ALSO LIKE TO DEDICATE THIS TO MY CURVE BALL WHO FULL FILLS THIS THEORY IN EVERY WAY I HOPE YOU TAKE OUT THE GREEN STAMP FOR THIS ONE (MWAH) ;-)
PLEASE NOTE THAT NO CHIMPS OR FROGS WERE HARMED IN THE PUBLICATION OF THIS BLOG !!!
one of the most profound poems of love you will ever read ....i pray and hope we all find this ....
Sonnet 116: "Let me not to the marriage of true minds..."
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
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